I Call Bulls**t!

Lindsay Lohan is the epitome of responsible behavior. No, really! Just ask her and she'll tell you that she would never, ever (like, in a million years!) get drunk behind the wheel. In fact, you don't even have to go through the trouble of finding her email or address to get in contact with her, because the interview she did with 'Elle' Magazine back in May hits newsstands this week and, take my word for it, it's the best piece of journalist in the history of journalism. Word!

'Elle' sat down with the actress after she completed her stay in rehab for drug and alcohol abuse. Safe to say, she's surely regretting everything that she said back then, from being too responsible to drive when drunk, to always wearing panties under skirts, to not being an attention whore and to doing her best for people to notice her for her acting. All in all, it's probably the best interview she ever gave. A complete and utter lie, but still...

So, from the top, people, from the top! Lindsay said back in May (that means, only weeks before the cops busted her because she drove while intoxicated, with cocaine in her pants and engaged in a dangerous car chase) that she would never go down the Paris and Nicole path because, well, she's a grown up, unlike them and understands that DUIs are dangerous stuff. 'They're looking for me, to like trip, so they can be like, "Oh Lindsay's wasted and driving drunk". And that's not it. I wouldn't violate....I'm much more responsible than that.' Sure!

The 'thespian' also opens up about her former on-and-off boytoy, Calum Best, practically revealing that both she and him were nothing but two Narcissists with severe issues who liked to bump uglies every now and then. 'I like him. He's me in male form. We're very similar. Stubborn, rebellious, very smart, coy, a little bit narcissistic - I think all actors have a little bit of that, and so they should. We'll be kidding around, like the other day when we were in the Bahamas … I was walking by some mirror. And he caught me looking in the mirror and he goes, "I caught that!" I was like, "Damn, I look good!"'. Damn, you're delusional, woman!

But the best part of the interview is, by far, the one in which Lindsay touches upon two subjects of much ridicule in the media and on the Internet: her infamous crotch shots and her acting career. This is what she had to say about the pantyless trend she helped launch, together with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears: 'It was once, and it was when I was in Venice. And I was rushing through the room, threw the Prada dress on. And that's what happened. And I didn't even see the picture. I don't look at that s**t - that's gross. If I wear a dress I have underwear on.' Dude? Are you for real? You did it at least three times, HERE, HERE and HERE. Also, it's funny to hear Lindsay calling her own coochie 'gross'!

As to her acting, Lohan wants an award for her lifetime achievements: 'I just want to be nominated for an award for all the work I've done. It's so funny - people forget that I played two characters in Parent Trap when I was twelve years old.', she says. She's probably oblivious to the fact that she lost all credibility for the public and that things stand now so badly that not even the Razzies would have her!

These being said, I call bulls**t on Lindsay Lohan! But I can't deny that she's pretty entertaining for a change...