Husband Posts Open Letter to iPhone Thief

Some folks sit at home and weep, when something is stolen from them. Others go straight to the police hoping the authorities will get a lead and catch the criminals. But one easy-going guy – Mark Bazer of The Baltimore Sun – decided to write an open letter to the person who snagged his wife’s iPhone on a train.

Knowing there was little to no chance he’d be getting his wife’s iPhone back, columnist Mark Bazer wrote an “Open Letter to the Gentleman Who Stole My Wife's iPhone out of Her Hands on the Train.”

He begins by saying, “Congratulations on your new iPhone! I just know you're going to love it, as it's a fantastic device with an easy-to-use interface and photos of my relatives. Heck, they're now your relatives, too -- we're on the same family plan! That reminds me: It's your turn this year to host Thanksgiving.”

“But back to your shiny new iPhone,” Bazer continues, “because there are a number of things you should know to ensure it gives you so much enjoyment that you forget your shame.” He goes to say there’s lots of room for music on the device, and jokes about how he and his wife regret if the thief doesn’t find the music to his taste. “[...] If not, just sync that baby up to your PC and create your own mix. (If you don't have a PC, they can be stolen from most homes.),” he says.

Bazer shockingly reveals he and his wife had actually bought the AppleCare protection plan, “so your iPhone is covered for two years if anything goes wrong -- with the exception of someone stealing it,” his sarcastic letter continues. “Speaking of which, AT&T, I believe, has a policy that if you steal one of their phones, you're locked into their service for five years. What can I say? The cell-phone companies will beat you every time at the crime game.”

“Unfortunately, my wife didn't have her iPhone's headphones out when the two of you met. And while other headphones will work with the phone, you really do want the real deal. So, if you plan on being back on the train anytime soon, perhaps we can work out a mutually convenient time when you can steal her headphones? She'd also bring the instruction manual,” Bazer adds. For the full letter, visit this address.