14 DAY TRIAL // To overcome any type of matrimonial crisis, first you have to be 100% sure that there is a real mutual desire to solve the issues and stop searching for the 'guilty one'; instead, try to find the possible cause(s) of your problems, and only then will you two have a chance of discovering the proper remedy.
It is better if an expert in family therapy acts as mediator or, at least, an experienced person in which the spouses can confide. It's all about humility and admitting that you have a problem. And remember, this cannot be done in one day; 'heling' is a gradual process, closely linked to the analysis of the causes that have motivated the crisis.
Amongst the most common causes that induce a matrimonial crisis are: _ always displaying a bad mood _repeating the failures and defects all day long _never agreeing with the other _turn any trifle into a big problem _not expressing what you think or feel _not being empathetic with the other (putting yourself in his/her place) _ always wanting to impose your own ideas/criteria _involving the children in the conflicts _not being available (too much work) _letting your family intervene in the conflicts between you and your husband/wife
The main remedies suggested by the psychologists are:
_be more tolerant and empathetic with your partner _take into account you own imperfections _take care of the details _mutual respect _concentrate on the positive aspects in the couple _do not continuously try to correct/change all minor defects that your partner might have _appreciate your partner's virtues, abilities and strong points _ try to always 'refresh' your relationship _express positive feelings _try to avoid the routine _do not alienate your partner from his/her family or isolate him/her socially
Many couples think that conceiving a baby can be a solution to the conflicts. In fact, the birth of a child can definitively ruin an already damaged relationship. This can be the last straw, as the couple cannot adapt to the new circumstances and the disputes increase. Many women decide to divorce when they're pregnant, because the situation becomes unbearable for them, and they don't want their child to be brought up and educated in such an conflictual environment.