14 DAY TRIAL // A new study indicates that the best way to ensure children respect their parents even after they leave home is to provide them with a “mixture” of high expectations, love and mutual respect as they grow.
This type of parenting style, which moves away from the rigors of a stern upbringing, may do the young ones a world of good, contributing to boosting their self-esteem, making them more ambitious, and also more capable of understanding and valuing respect.
For many children, being able to hold on to their autonomy is one of the most important things, especially during teen years. Putting them under a lot of pressure and constraint can have very negative effects on the parents-children relationship later on, experts say.
Interestingly, the new research also demonstrated that children how are raised in this manner than to exhibit a greater degree of self-worth, as well as higher levels of kindness and understanding towards others. They also have a closer relationship with their parents.
The investigation, led by Brigham Young University (BYU) family life professor and researcher Larry Nelson, PhD, indicates that dads tend to play the most important role in bringing up their kids in the way indicated by experts.
“If their child is struggling to pick a major in college, these dads don’t tell their kids what they think it should be. Instead they’ll say ‘Have you ever considered this’ or ‘Here’s one advantage of that’.” Nelson explains, quoted by PsychCentral.
“And when the child makes a choice, they say ‘I’m proud of you',” he goes on to say. This manner of upbringing is called authoritative parenting, and is the exact opposite of authoritarian parenting or helicopter parenting.
“They know what’s going on in their children’s lives, and we’re seeing that it’s because the kids are willing to tell them. The outcomes are better when parents aren’t controlling,” the team leader explains.
Details of the investigation were published in the June issue of the Journal of Youth and Adolescence.