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Hey, Look: My Crotch Is On Fire

Lili Allen thinks she's any man's dream come true

By Monica Gaza, Entertainment News Editor

14th of December 2007, 11:44 GMT

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Crotch overboard! Well, actually, crotch on fire!

I have no idea when the foul-mouthed brat that is Lily Allen has turned from... well, a more curvy foul-mouthed brat who used to sing about her own insecurities into a would-be sex kitten, but I've had enough of it. I can see - given how I've been blessed with a pair of eyes, much like the vast majority of human beings on this planet - that this hypocrite has lost a lot of weight, and I'm really happy she's feeling comfortable about it and she finally feels happy with her own body. But I have no idea how she can still claim to be a role model for young girls out there when all she's doing in fact is to market radical weight loss and basically pave the way for the whole "size 0" controversy to reach a new level.

Lily is on the cover of GQ magazine, dressed in a racy black corset, one strap falling provocatively off her shoulder, her hair pumped up and her hands in all sorts of alluring poses and regions. And yes, she finally has the decency to admit

Sexy... photoshop really does wonders...

to her hypocrisy and tell the world what most of us had been suspecting all along: that her previous bitchiness and her long rants at the expense of "skinny-a*sed bitches" were not the result of some authentically rebellious spirit, but stemmed from good old-fashioned envy.

"This shoot was a big thing for me. A lot of the stuff I said before was probably because I didn't feel confident enough to do this. I felt like, 'Oh, God, I'm short, fat, ugly... and I hate all those people that flaunt their beauty.' But I feel great at the moment. It's nice to do this for once". Yes, it's nice to be known and appreciated for whoring around your body like and empty shell, fitting in with most men's ideal of "a sexy woman" and not caring about the other people (young girls in particular) who used to look up to you and who may not have all the means and money that you had and which I'm sure you made consistent use of in achieving this new look of yours. But never mind - it's way better to show us your fiery crotch than to worry about annoying things such as weight - right?

TAGS:

Lily Allen | GQ | photo shoot | black corset

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