14 DAY TRIAL // While promoting “Battleship,” Rihanna made quite a fuss about this being her “acting” debut and how she insisted that the director treated her not like a star, but like a professional. Judging by the lines she was given, you wouldn't be able to tell.
Vulture went through the trouble of getting all her lines on paper and they're far from what one would consider acting.
In fact, they're 68 lines of... nothing, seeing how they mostly comprise one-liners and exclamations of various kinds.
With “Battleship” sinking at the box office as “The Avengers” continues to reign supreme, it's no wonder the media is picking on the smallest things to mock it.
Rihanna could have chosen a better vehicle to make her silver screen debut.
Below are all the lines she had to utter in “Battleship.” Enjoy!
“What’s wrong with you drama queen?”
“Get up princess! Come on!”
“Typical”
“Shut up. Shut up.”
“Oh, this gon’ be sweet. He hates the man.”
“You go mess with him and see what happens!”
“Chicken!”
“Kentucky Fried Chicken!”
“You look like Colonel Sanders, actually.”
“Yo Saunders, ever been in a department run by some kind of Donald Trump/Mike Tyson mutant combo?”
“Nothing, sir.”
“If you did, it was only in reference to the fact the you both project great physical intensity, sir.”
“I got something sir, on my camera.”
“I don’t know.”
“Is this some kind of exercise?”
“You ever seen anything like this?”
“Weird, man.”
“Real bad idea, Lieutenant.”
“Lieutenant, get up.”
“Lieutenant.”
“Come on, you with me?”
“Come on, squared away?”
“What the hell is that?”
“Ahhhhhhh!”
“Ahhhhhhh!”
“What happened?”
“What?”
“Who’s in charge?”
“Fire control’s offline. I need three minutes.”
“(Heavy sigh)”
“My dad said they’d come. Said it my whole life. He said one day we’d find them, or they’d find us. Know what else he said? He said, I hope I ain’t around when that day comes.”
“No sir!”
“Nothing sir, nothing.”
“Yo, hey!”
“Come on, come on, come on.”
“Mahalo, motherf—”
“What the hell is that?”
“Sir.”
“Roger, Echo 1-1.”
“Box 24. Ready to fire.”
“India 3-7, locked.”
“Sir, we’re hot over here. We’re good to go, let’s light ‘em up.”
“Tango 1-9, loaded.”
“Whiskey 2-5.”
“Negative, sir, it’s moving all over the place. I can’t get a line on it.”
“Sucker’s really jumping around.”
“40 minutes sir.”
“Contact is seven minutes out and closing fast.”
“Contact two miles out.”
“Contact ETA 21 seconds.”
“Boom.”
“Yeah!”
“Get up!”
“Let’s go!”
“Go, go, go!”
“Yes, sir.”
“Oh yes sir.”
“Awesome.”
“Sir, we’ll be in weapons range in 5 minutes.”
“Aimed at target.”
“Sir, that’s the wrong direction!”
“Sir.”
“Coordinates.”
“Elevation.”
“Come on, take the picture, Beast.”
“Navy!”
“Come on, Hopper!”
“Look dapper!”