Pointy ears aren’t part of human anatomy either, the same goes for button-like noses

Aug 30, 2014 23:57 GMT  ·  By

Earlier this week, the world plunged into utter and complete chaos when the news broke that Hello Kitty was not a cat, but a British little girl living in London with her family, friends, and even pets.

Truth be told, it’s not like Sanrio, the Japanese company behind this fictional character, kept Hello Kitty’s true identity a secret for decades and only divulged it a few days ago.   There’s an entire webpage dedicated to explaining Hello Kitty’s bio, and this webpage makes it perfectly clear that, the way Sanrio sees things, this world-famous character is a young girl from London, UK.   The fact that, by the looks of it, pretty much nobody bothered to have a look at this webpage for years and years is irrelevant. What matters is that, after being out in the open for quite a long time, this piece of information finally got noticed.   “Hello Kitty is a cheerful and happy little girl with a heart of gold. She lives in London with her mama (Mary White), papa (George White), and her twin sister Mimmy,” the Japanese company writes.   “Hello Kitty loves to bake and she can make really delicious cookies. She learned her baking talents from her mama, who makes scrumptious apple pies that are enjoyed by the whole family,” it adds.   OK, so Sanrio says Hello Kitty is not a cat. I beg to differ. I say she is one. Granted, she’s a cat that’s been living as a little girl for decades, but this does not change the fact that she is a feline. And a darn cute one, for that matter.   Let’s Examine the Evidence   You can find a picture of Hello Kitty next to this article. Not that there is any need for you to actually have a good look at it to make sure I’m not telling lies. Let’s face it, we all know what Hello Kitty looks like.   In fact, I dare say that, if you were completely oblivious to this character’s existence and all the controversy sparked by Sanrio’s announcement, you would not be on this page, reading about her. Simply put, if you’re reading about Hello Kitty, you definitely know what she looks like.   But I digress. Here’s what I wanted to point out. Hello Kitty has whiskers. She has pointy ears, and a nose that looks strikingly similar to the ones cats sport in this day and age. Hence, she is a cat. The evidence has spoken.   If she looks like a cat, then she is a cat. It’s that simple. That her life is different to that of other felines is a whole other story. Her daily routine might be that of a little girl, but her anatomy most definitely isn’t. Unless we’re talking about a little girl created by Dr. Frankenstein’s long lost (and totally obsessed) with pink brother.

Dear Sanrio, with All Due Respect, Just Shut It

OK, so let me see if I got this straight, Mr. Big Japanese Company. You don’t like it when people call Hello Kitty a cat. You say that, since she’s never depicted walking around on all four or coughing out hairballs, she can’t be a cat.   Well then, please explain how it is that, despite the fact that she was created 4 decades ago, Hello Kitty is still a little girl. If we’re gonna play the „let’s not lose touch with reality” game, perhaps you might want to join us.   And here’s another one for you: why is this little girl friends with monkeys and seals and bears and squirrels? Exactly how many British little girls have you until now seen befriending such creatures and playing with them?   Bottom line, you expect us not to say that Hello Kitty is a cat on account of the fact that she does not behave like one. Well, I hate to break this to you, but it’s not like she’s anything like the little girl you’re trying to pass her off as either.   For Pete’s sake, you claim that she is five apples tall and weighs three apples (by the way, do you think this is a healthy body image young ladies should grow up aspiring to?), and that she has a whole bunch of animal friends. This does not sound very girlie.      To sum up, the point that I’m trying to make, dear Sanrio, is as follows: as long as you’re not willing to change Hello Kitty’s image to reflect her age (once again, she’s 40-year-old), and measure her height and weight in something other than apples, then we reserve the right to call her a cat.