Helen Mirren: Romance Isn’t Essential for Marriage to Work

Outspoken British actress Dame Helen Mirren started dating her now-husband in 1982, and eventually agreed to be his wife in 1997. Despite their strong and still thrilling relationship, Mirren says it’s not romance that makes a marriage work: at least, that was not the case for her and Taylor Hackford, she explains in an interview cited by The Telegraph.

The actress is now promoting a new film and, in one of the most recent interviews, the topic of the secret to a happy marriage came up. Contrary to what many may believe, Mirren spent a lot of time dragging things on because she did not want to marry Taylor. She believed, among other things, that officially tying the knot would tie her down, and the last thing she wanted was to have “roots.” Yet, in time, she came to discover that it wasn’t romance that made a relationship work but rather honesty and, of course, trust.

“Taylor isn’t romantic, but what I get on the other side is so much better. Loyalty and truthfulness – I’d take those qualities over romantic evenings any time. I have the incredible advantage of having a husband who is both loyal and understanding. In return I give him back loyalty and understanding too. We couldn’t be married without that,” the famous actress says of her own personal recipe for a healthy and time-enduring marriage. Speaking of which, Mirren also details her initial reaction to Taylor’s marriage proposal.

“Some people like the familiar, and love being rooted. I didn’t want roots. I wanted the unfamiliar, the strange and the other. And I really, really, really didn’t want to grow up, get married and settle down. I told him I would marry him on the condition that nothing would change. But when I woke up on the morning after the wedding I realized everything had changed and I loved it. I still feel a shiver when I hear him say ‘my wife’ and I get this enormous sense of pleasure when I say ‘my husband’,” the star explains.

Helen’s marriage to the American filmmaker is her first. The two do not have any children together, with the star often saying she has “no maternal instinct whatsoever,” but Taylor has two children from a previous relationship.