What? You Mean There's No Sex Scandal This Time?

Now, I'm sure that if someone were to tell me the words "FHM" and "100 sexiest women" and then ask me to describe the first things that come to my mind on hearing those words, I'd start going on about sexy ladies, perfectly sculpted derrières and perky breasts. No, I'm still a woman and still straight - or I was last time I checked anyway, but you see my point. The list of the world's 100 sexiest women put together by FHM each year is a feast of cliches - perfectly thin women, usually models and the most hyped actresses of the moment. In other words, the closest to (earthly) "perfection" anyone will ever get. As a model, actress or singer, you don't have to be at the top of the list to get instant praise and acclaim - simply making the list is enough of an achievement.

Well, what if I told you then that Heather Mills is number 95 on the list this year? You would think I'm kidding, wouldn't you? I pretty much thought the same thing when I came across this piece of news, but unfortunately, it's all true. Sir Paul McCartney's soon to be former wife, the ever-ranting, occasionally delusional, former porn glamor girl Heather Mills made this year's list and her popularity is reportedly growing. Now, how can that be possible? "Mills has shocked bosses at British magazine FHM by racking up more than 1,000 votes a day in their online poll to name the world's 100 most attractive females", Cotactmusic reports. Now that's what makes me think the world is probably coming to an end soon. Some asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty as we speak. There must be some logic to this, right?

Chris Bell, FHM's deputy editor, is quoted as saying that "Heather Mills has always been vilified as a gold-digger with a dubious past. But readers have realized she's about to become the world's most eligible - and richest - woman". What do you know - coming into a large fortune suddenly increases a woman's degree of sexual desirability by about a million. I know, it's one of those shallow universal truths I usually like to ignore, but nevertheless - except the occasionally sour smile, is there anything else attractive about Heather Mills?