14 DAY TRIAL // Looking at the trailer for “Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters 3D” (above) and heading into the theater expecting some kind of solid drama or riveting cinematographic experience is ridiculous – and I know you’re not the ridiculous type. With this film, what you see is what you get: light, good looking and somewhat mindless entertainment.
The film picks up after Hansel and Gretel escape the evil witch by burning her: they’re grown up now and are in the business of witch hunting. Basically, the classic tale is an excuse to show awesome butt kicking action scenes in 3D. There, I said it.
What I Liked
Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton are always a pleasure to look at, and it turns out this is all the more so when they’re paired together onscreen. Good looking and talented, they can work even with a less than solid script, as this one is.
The film is fast-paced and has plenty of action scenes packed with solid FX and decent 3D, with a healthy serving of gore (and cuss words) on the side. You also get plenty of explosions, neat scenes in which witches are killed in all sorts of gross manners, awesome one-liners and, yes, plenty of skin as well.
Just what the doctor ordered for a weeknight, when the last thing you want is more problems, stress, drama.
What I Didn’t Like
For the life of me I can’t understand why the two leads would ever agree to do a film like this one. If Nic Cage had been in it, I would have shrugged and thought, “Heck, he needs the money,” but with these two, I just can’t explain it.
The story is weak, the dialog is cringe-worthy in places and there’s a lot of wasted talent here, to put it simply. In fact, this could be the film’s biggest sin.
Conclusion
You will definitely not be sorry when you leave the theater with a smile on your face (and probably thinking “How awesome was that?!”) but, trust me, you won’t remember this one in a week from now.
The Players
Director: Tommy Wirkola Writer: Tommy Wirkola Stars: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Peter Stormare, Famke Janssen Rated R