
An entire community in Stuttgart, Germany was shocked when, a few days ago, Uta Schneider was arrested by police officers on mutilation charges. The woman, who had spent more than 35 happy years being married to Heinrich, decided she could not part with her husband for ever... and took home his best asset.
Heinrich died on the hospital bed and Uta was right there beside him, to mourn his passing. But, after considering all the aspects that his death implied, she went home, got her hands on a butcher's knife and returned to take from her dead husband his most 'vital' part. She chopped off his penis, wrapped it in foil, then safely placed it in a lunch box and prepared to make her exit from the hospital.
A nurse saw the 'luggage' that Uta was carrying and immediately called the police. When they arrived on the scene and cuffed the little old lady, she smilingly told them that she did not mean her act to be one of cruelty but only wanted to 'pickle it as a souvenir of their marriage'.
'It was his best asset and gave me so much pleasure. I wanted to pickle it for eternity. He would have wanted it. We called it his joystick. I wanted it to remember him by.', the woman told the unbelieving cops. Nonetheless and despite her 'beautiful' gesture in her husband's memory, Uta has been taken downtown and is now liable to go to prison, if found guilty on mutilation charges.