GO TO CUBA, BRITNEY, GO, GO, GO...

Welcome, everybody, aboard a new week of Britney Spears madness. Good day for a walk in the Britaloonie neighborhood, just make sure to stay tuned, 'cause there's plenty of interesting things going on. Our favorite trainwreck knows how to keep us all interested and there's no doubt about it: Brit Brit absolutely loves herself and she loves media attention. And she loves being called crazy and deranged, as long as she manages to stay in the spotlight - which she does, even when just about everything from her dress to her parenting skills suck.

This time, it's not so very good news on the custody front. It looks like Brit is becoming extremely worried about losing her kids - which as far as I'm concerned is extremely ironic, seeing how she seems to have been doing her best to prove to the world that she does deserve to lose joint custody. Let's count, everyone: she hit the clubs the same day a judge proclaimed her to be a frequent and habitual substance user (and abuser), she allowed herself to be photographed drinking in the middle of the day and just did all those silly Britney-is-a-loony things (including wearing stained clothes, not wearing a bra and showing off her nipples and finally asking a paparazzo to get her tampons) for which we all love her to bits.

Brit apparently wants to keep her kids so badly (heavens know why, since she's been basically losing them step by step, live on TV and the Internet) that she even considers making things up with K-Fed. And while I found that hard to believe at first, I must admit that it would be just about the last thing missing from the bit madness saga. Brit apparently believes that the best way to get her life back on track is to make things up with her ex hubby - but he, apparently, disagrees. Or at least this is what I think, seeing that he has reportedly been dating Nicole Narain, who is not only a Playboy model, but also Colin Farrell's sex tape partner. Ouch!

A source close to Brit camp claims that Brit also came up with a way to keep custody of her kids. Hang on to your seats, y'all, this is going to be funny. She apparently wants to flee the States and move to Cuba. "She's terrified of losing her sons" states the source. "There are no extradition laws in Cuba, so she thinks it's her only hope".

I must say, I have a feeling Brit had one too many Bacardi breezers if she thinks leaving the country will make everything right. But I have a feeling she won't be doing it - there's no crazy press in Cuba to document her every move. At least I think there's not. But really - Brit, please, go away if you feel like it. I'm sure no one here will mind. We'll miss you for a while, of course, but then Paris Hilton will release another sex tape, Lindsay Lohan will bust out of rehab and go on a murder spree across the globe and we'll eventually be perfectly happy without you. Kidding. Or am I not?