Fashion police

From Nipple Slip to High-Waisted Denim Diaper

Oh, so I take it that she's shy!

By Elena Gorgan, Entertainment News Editor

19th of April 2007, 16:34 GMT

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Totally speechless. But check out the cameltoe action going on here!

This is a perfect example of the many things that can go wrong in less than 24 hours. I mean, look at Jessica Simpson! Yesterday she was all hot and sexy, boobs popping all over the place and even the tiniest hint of a nipple showing and now, she is what can I only call the worst part of the '80s come to life! Why couldn't she just go on being sexy and provocative when she pulled off that look so well? Is she, like, shy or something?

Of course, there actually might be several explanations for the latter problem presented to us: either John Mayer is back in town (and I haven't heard anything of the kind yet so it's highly improbable) or her father made her cover up. Since the last part is a virtual no-no - we're talking about the same guy who used to brag about his daughter's huge and 100 percent natural boobage, aren't we? - and since the first one is unlikely, we might as well go with a third option I just came up with: Jessica Simpson is a shy prude.

Probably, unhappy about having caused such a frenzy on the Internet with her amazing breasts, Jessica decided to dress down when all that would have sufficed to get our mind off yesterday's pics was for her to dress even more provocatively. You see? It's as simple as that and I doubt few of you would have something bad to say if that were really the case!

Anyways, no matter the reason, Jessica is wearing what appears to be a high-waisted denim diaper and it's not even looking good on her. True, I admit that she did a good thing by leaving her bra at home and going all au naturel but that doesn't change the fact that she's bringing the '80s back. The worst things about the '80s, that is! And she also looks fat in those pants. And they're not cool at all.

Really, someone should take a stand and stop this trend before it gets too far because it's even worse than the one with the platform shoes and the bug-eyed sunglasses. It does nothing for a woman's body (I know in what kind of outfit Jessica would look her best - it's called the Mother Nature suit or, if not, a tiny, tiny, the tiniest bikini) and it's awful. While you take care of that, I'm gonna stay here, looking at Jess because there's one thing that you overlooked about her denim diaper/ensemble: the huge cameltoe!

TAGS:

Jessica Simpson | boobies | flash | fashion

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