14 DAY TRIAL // The counterintuitive conclusions of a recent investigation show that our friends may in fact know us better than we know ourselves. According to researchers, believing that we know ourselves better than others do is a fundamentally flawed preconception.
They however admit that it's natural to think so. On the other hand, there is really no evidence available to support such a belief, explains Dr. Simine Vazire, who holds an appointment as a psychologist at the Washington University.
But the expert adds that it may be a good idea to ask for a second opinion every once in a while. This may, in fact, be the wisest thing to do when confronting ourselves with difficult decisions.
“There are aspects of personality that others know about us that we don’t know ourselves, and vice-versa. To get a complete picture of a personality, you need both perspectives,” Vazire explains.
She conducted the work together with PhD student Erika N. Carlson. The team published details of the new research in the Association for Psychological Science (APS) journal Current Directions in Psychological Science.
The work revealed that loved ones, partners and spouses are the people who know us best. On the other hand, some of their opinions are not really that relevant. “We used to collect ratings from parents – and we’ve mostly stopped, because they’re useless,” the team leader adds.
According to Vazire, every parent tends to think about their child as the most beautiful, smartest and capable kid there is. If experts were to consider only the opinion of parents, then the world would be the most remarkable place to live in.
Traits such as creativity, intelligence, or rudeness are oftentimes best judged by others, investigators say. Conversely, emotions such as stage fright may exist solely within us, without others ever being capable of noticing them.
“How can we give people feedback, and how can that be used to improve self-knowledge? And how do we use self-knowledge to help people be happier and have better relationships?” Vazire says of the sensible situations in which friends are oftentimes put.
The take-home message from all this is that you should be more willing to listen to what others have to say about you. Some traits are best apparent from the exterior, PsychCentral reports.