For those who don’t yet have the glorious human behind all figured out, here’s what it does and why we need it

Dec 5, 2014 07:01 GMT  ·  By

Last week, when we talked about how and why water puts out fire, we chanced to mention Nicki Minaj’s glorious – by some people’s standards, that is – behind.

True, this one reference was of the out-of-the-blue kind and pretty much off topic, but at least it got us to this week’s Freaky Friday Mystery which, dare we say it, is an issue that concerns us all.

Without further ado, here’s what this piece is about: bottoms. Bottoms, behinds, dorsal sides, derrières – call them by whatever name you want and pleases you.

We all have one, and whether we like it or not, it’s going to be attached to our body for the rest of our life. So let’s take a few minutes to discuss what it actually is and what it does for us, shall we?

First off, here’s what a bottom is from an anatomical viewpoint

As illustrated in the second image in the gallery below – this is a serious science article, so, naturally, we have pictures to illustrate our points – the human behind comprises the gluteus maximus muscle, the gluteus medius muscle, and the gluteus minimus muscle.

These muscles are covered by a layer of fat. Needless to say, some people have a slightly more impressive fat layer covering their gluteal muscles. Other folks’ dorsal side, on the other hand, packs just a teensy-weensy amount of fat. We’ll leave the everlasting debate about which of them are the lucky ones to some other time.

The two masses that make up the gluteus maximus maximus are separated by a so-called intergluteal cleft. We’ll leave the more common name for this cleft to your imagination, as it shouldn’t be too difficult to figure out. Still, if you’re having trouble, just think of something that rhymes with “back.”

Now, here's how our plump behinds influence our day-to-day life

Some might be tempted to say that we humans evolved to have plump bottoms to make it more comfortable for us to sit for hours on end, possibly while desperately trying to meet a deadline, and they wouldn’t be entirely wrong. Were it not for our dorsal cheeks, sitting would be a pretty painful experience.

Besides, as plenty of people know too well, our bottoms make a perfect storage room for fat. In today’s day and age, many have an utter disrespect for body fat and do their best to keep their reserves at a minimum. The thing is that, in nature, fat counts as an energy source. This is why, apart from we humans, no animal would ever consider dieting.

True, some of the dorsal sides currently populating our planet are pretty fun to look at. However, this does not change the fact that nature did not give us this anatomical part just so that we would have something to wiggle around for our peers’ entertainment. The fact of the matter is that our back cheeks are made for walking.

The single most important role our derrière plays in our life

Researchers say that we humans came to have rather voluptuous derrières so that we would be able to stand upright, walk on our lower limbs, and run without getting tired. Thus, the bottom helps keep us stable when in an upright position and make our life as bipedal creatures way easier.

Admittedly, our fellow primates can stand in an upright position as well. We’ll even go the extra mile and point out that even cats, dogs and other four-legged creatures can balance their bodies on their hind limbs. Then again, it’s important to note that they can only do so for a little while.

If you’re thinking that some dinosaurs were more than able to walk around using their lower limbs alone and that kangaroos do the same in these days, you’re right. The thing is that dinosaurs relied on freakishly massive Tails to balance their bodies and kangaroos now employ the very same mechanism.

What this means is that, in a very strange way, our derrières make us superior to the animals we share our planet with, simply by allowing us to walk upright. Besides, when we run, the gluteus maximus contracts and stabilizes our body, essentially keeping us from landing flat on our faces.

To sum up, our behinds keep us comfy when we sit, they store fat and, most importantly, make it possible for us to walk and run in an upright position. Here’s hoping that you’ve found this piece to your liking and be sure to check this page again a week from now for another Freaky Friday Mystery.

Our behinds help us walk and run upright (5 Images)

Humans are the only creatures to sport plump bottoms
The human behind is made up of so-called gluteal musclesThese muscles help up walk
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