Foxy Brown Is Headed for the Slammer!

There's been a lot of "in jail, out of jail" traffic these days, and some things that we only suspected are now becoming more and more certain. Like that fact that cocaine possession, for once, must have been made legal a while ago, otherwise I can't explain how come Lindsay Lohan will almost certainly walk with just a couple of days' (if at all) jail time, stronger muscles and a healthier tan from the second arrest and the holiday...I mean, rehab stint that followed. And also, if you're a celebrity, you're pregnant and you believe this will be your ticket out of jail, don't count on it except if you're Nicole Richie, otherwise you may be a little surprised.

Like Foxy Brown, who found out at her own expense that assaulting manicurists in a nail salon, hitting your neighbor in the head with your PDA and violating your terms of release are probably not very good things to do, and they will land you in jail no matter how hard you try to escape. And believe me, she did try hard, especially when she was pulled over by the police a few days ago and asked to provide her name and date of birth - which the rapper did, but not quite accurately, vainly trying to hide the fact that both her driver's license and the license for her car were suspended. Which leads to Foxy appearing before a judge, which leads to her going back to jail until September 7th, the date set for her next hearing.

And so, finally, someone decided to actually put a celebrity in the big house. Good. But what about the rest of the drugged-out loose cannons that are out there on the streets, like the Lohan and Nicole Richie, not to mention crack-head Doherty who violates his parole every other day and gets off on police blunders. Not to mention that, even though Foxy Brown has proved to be a walking menace and deserves everything that she gets, she's not by far the worst among the rich and famous. But she does have a way about her that manages to piss off everyone she meets. "She has an air of entitlement about her", city Department of Probation lawyer Matilde Leo stated at the hearing that took place in the Manhattan Criminal Court. "Probation is a privilege, not a right. ... She has finally abused that privilege to the point of no return". Ouch. Point proven though, as Judge Melissa Jackson ordered Brown to wait for her next hearing in September. That's two weeks from now, looks like Brown is in for a little one-on-one slammer time. I wonder how much she'll be paid writing a book about an insider's view on life in jail - just so that Paris and the rest know exactly what they've missed.