Fake Eyelashes and the Rotating Tongue Trick

Zac Efron really thinks he's God's gift to teenagers, doesn't he? Well, in some twisted way maybe he is, but I still think (allegedly) wearing fake eyelashes and putting on that much make-up is a definite turn-off when it comes to tween heartthrobs. The fact is, Zac definitely knows how to strut his stuff so that the 12 to 18 demographic is constantly on the point of fainting whenever he makes his way onto the TV screens and bursts into song - not to mention hang on his every word whenever he decides to share some of his thoughts on hot topics such as buying your tinted foundation and matching it to your cheek powder, applying mascara and choosing the right shade of lip gloss... no, I'm kidding, he was actually talking about kissing, and when Zac talks, the world holds its breath and listens.

"Be respectful of the other person and don't just get on in there and grope all over the place. My favorite kisses happen when I've taken it nice and slow" he says. Maybe we can ask for a demonstration from him and his on again / off again girlfriend Vanessa "I look good naked" Hudgens, but since we've already seen pretty much everything there was to see about Vanessa, I doubt watching her kiss Efron will prove even mildly hot. So we'll pass on that, and move on to what Zac has to say next.

"When girls rotate their tongues around your mouth like a washing machine, that's not a good idea. I've never experienced a washing-machine kiss, but I've heard about them". Well, that's all very sexy and all, but I think I would in fact prefer some tips on how to attach those fake eyelashes. I know, I'm being mean - and we were all beginners once, right? But come on, this is Zac Efron, the next Brad Pitt! We'll be seeing him play James Bond in about 10 years' time, he needs to let go of the tame side and embrace his inner hotness. That, and lose the make-up.

"Go easy and take your time. Don't try to swallow the person you're kissing by opening your mouth so wide!" he concludes. I think he also forgot to mention who taught him all these things. Vanessa? I doubt it, it looks like she's already moved on to bigger and better things - she doesn't have time for kissing lessons. Who then? Your guess is as good as mine. Only problem is, I have a feeling all the girls out there will most likely appreciate a live demonstration. Here's a thought. How about an illicit Zac Efron kissing tape? Oh, that would really bring the Internet to its knees, literally. So, how 'bout it - do we have a deal?