14 DAY TRIAL // Intimate relationships are much better off if both partners show roughly the same level of commitment, rather than one of them being strongly committed, and the other, not so much. The conclusions are based on an innovative study carried out in the United States.
The researchers used the Minnesota Longitudinal Study of Risk and Adaptation (MLSRA) as a data source, and then they augmented their results with a series of specially-designed lab procedures.
The work was carried out by experts from the St. Olaf College, the University of Minnesota and the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign (UIUC). Six investigators authored the study.
One of the main conclusions is that several indicators exist as to which member of a couple is more likely to be more involved (the stronger link) in an adult relationship. One of these indicators is the supportive, involved mothering that a person receives while a toddler.
The ability to work through conflict during adolescence is also an strong indicator. If people are unable to do so, then they will most likely become the weather link in the relationship, Science Blog reports.
Details of this research will be published in the upcoming, June issue of the Association for Psychological Science (APS) journal Psychological Science. In the paper, researchers explain that the expression “it takes two to tango” describes love and relationships extremely well.
The research was led by SOC expert M. Minda Oriña, UM investigators W. Andrew Collins, Jeffry A. Simpson, Jessica E. Salvatore, and John S. Kim, and UIUC scientist Katherine C. Haydon.
The way people learn how to love can be traced back to their childhood and adolescence. It is during these times that “you are learning to manage your own needs and those of the people you care about,” explains Oriña.
“You learn: Can I come forward with a problem? What can I expect of the other person? And how can I do this in a way that everyone wins?” the investigator goes on to say. This was visible in couples with different levels of commitment that were in the end the most hostile to each other.
The study revealed that, if both participants in a relationship are strong links, then they are very likely to be able to work through problems rationally. This automatically leads to a longer relationship.
Similarly, less friction exists between two weak links. This type of people are not very concerned about working things out, but the catch is that neither of them is willing or in the mood to talk. As such, the possibility of conflict decreases.