Paul Rosolie says he'll put on a protective suit, cover himself in blood, let an anaconda eat him and hope for the best

Nov 9, 2014 00:37 GMT  ·  By

Earlier this week, the online community was taken by storm by the news that, come December, the Discovery Channel will air a special showing a man being eaten alive by an anaconda.

As if this plot synopsis weren't enough to really freak us out, word has it that the reality TV show's star, naturalist and wildlife filmmaker Paul Rosolie, will willingly and knowingly let the snake swallow him whole.

That's right, it appears that, on December 7, the Discovery Channel will introduce us to a show telling the tale of a man that let an anaconda eat him. Fear not, Paul Rosolie promises us a happy ending.

Thus, the naturalist claims that, thanks to a protective suit he plans to put on, he will manage to survive inside the belly of the beast. Simply put, he plans to have the snake regurgitate him shortly after lunch time is over.

Is this news one big hoax?

I’d love to be able to tell you that this whole story is pure fiction, but the fact of the matter is that, judging by the statements both Paul Rosolie and the Discovery Channel have until now made, it most definitely isn’t.

Here’s what the network writes in a message on its website: “On Eaten Alive, naturalist and wildlife filmmaker Paul Rosolie enters the belly of an anaconda in a custom-built snake-proof suit.”

“In the days leading up to Eaten Alive, I understand that many people have questions. All I can tell you now is that all my work is based around the fact that wildlife and ecosystems today, across the globe, are at a critical moment,” the daredevil adds on his own website.

So, yes, it appears that, thanks to Paul Rosolie and the Discovery Channel, we will very soon get to witness a man letting himself be eaten alive by an anaconda. Now if this ain’t quite the reality TV treat, then I don’t know what is.

Just how crazy is this man?

Admittedly, I am no wildlife expert. Still, here’s what I do know: unlike venomous snakes, whose victims die shortly after being injected with a cocktail of toxins, anacondas literally squeeze the life out of their prey.

More precisely, these snakes kill by wrapping themselves around their victim and squeezing the unfortunate animal until it can no longer breathe. Sometimes, they put so much effort into it that they break some of their prey’s bones.

Since they don’t chew their meals, they produce very strong acids that dissolve pretty much everything that ends up going down their throat. In fact, anacondas have even been documented to feed on caimans, which don’t exactly have the softest skin ever.

The reason why I detailed these things about anacondas is because, should Paul Rosolie decide to move forward with his plan, the too-tight-for-his-own-good hug and the close encounter with the reptile’s gastric acids are two treatments he will most certainly be subjected to.

Now, I don’t know what Paul Rosolie’s so-called snake-proof suit is made off, but I can only assume it’s not made of concrete or, better yet, adamantium. As long as he can move around while wearing it, this means that the snake will be able to hug him, probably to death.

One other thing that keeps bugging me is the question about how exactly this daredevil plans to keep breathing while inside the anaconda’s belly. Since he intends to go in head first and snakes take quite a while to swallow their meal, he will have to go without fresh air for a considerable period of time.

Not to beat about the bush, what I’m trying to say is that, from where I stand, naturalist and filmmaker Paul Rosolie must be pretty crazy to think that he can get an anaconda to eat him whole and live to tell the tale.

Even supposing that the snake will agree to play Russian nesting dolls with him, there are just so many things that can go wrong that I for one cannot help but question this man’s sanity.

In fact, this entire affair sounds so far-fetched that I’m quite convinced that, statements and promos aside, the story is no more and no less than a publicity stunt, and that Eaten Alive will turn out to be one big disappointment.

Then again, I suppose we'll have to wait for December 7 to get to the bottom of this most bizarre affair. I don't know about you, but I for one will most certainly tune in to watch Eaten Alive.