Dramatic End to the Bitter Mills - McCartney Divorce

The bitter, ridiculous and occasionally fierce divorce battle between legendary ex-Beatles Sir Paul McCartney and his estranged wife, former soft porn and glamor model Heather Mills is finally over - in a very unexpected and dramatic fashion. The divorce settlement was announced today, and to her obvious annoyance, Heather Mills found out she would only receive about a fifth of the whopping $125 million she had originally demanded. In an unprecedented move, the judgment was released in full less than an hour after the divorce battle was over - and in the exhaustive 58 page document, the judge who ruled on the case expressed his opinions regarding the testimonies of both McCartney and Mills, thus rejecting the latter's demand that the finer details of the ruling be kept a secret.

The judge described Heather Mills' testimony as "less than candid" and stated that her evidence was "inaccurate" making her a "less than impressive witness". He also praised McCartney for giving "balanced" evidence. It has been revealed that Heather Mills claimed that she was entitled to a large part of her ex husband's fortune primarily because she had helped revive his career after the death of his first wife, Linda. "I have to say that the wife's evidence that in some way she was the husband's "psychologist", even allowing for hyperbole, is typical of her make-belief", the judge stated, and added "I wholly reject her account that she rekindled the husband's professional flame and gave him back his confidence".

The last time Mills and McCartney faced each other in court as husband and wife was not uneventful. It has just been revealed that - in a move typical of the same abrupt, occasionally brutal attitude she reportedly adopted throughout the entire trail - Mills threw a jug of water over the head of her former husband's high-powered divorce lawyer Fiona Shackleton and then joked she had been "baptized in court". Also, on the steps of the courthouse, she launched into yet another angry tirade directed at her ex husband - but her own divorce lawyers, his divorce lawyers and the British state itself were also at the receiving end of a piece of her mind. No word yet on Heather Mills' next move, although it has been claimed that she is planning to move with her daughter to the United States.