Desperate Honeymoon for Newly-Wed Eva?

They're the newest, hottest couple on the block. They had the most expensive and lavish wedding so far. And they have awful tastes in cake color, but that's less important. And now, after an almost-secret honeymoon, they're back to work. Evidently, I'm referring to Eva Longoria and Tony Parker.

After a week-long party and shopping spree and, afterwards, that incredibly spectacular wedding, the couple decided to take a long trip with a Caribbean destination, mainly the islands of Turks and Caicos. The newlyweds had a quiet time away from the heat of things, keeping to themselves and enjoying nice, romantic dinners in exclusive restaurants with (probably) a nice view of the tropical landscape. I can only dream of such luxury, but when I grow up, maybe I'll be a desperate house-husband and become rich and famous...not.

Although the vacation was done with the utmost secrecy, the press still managed to get a few statements from other guests of the exotic resort, who testified that Eva and Tony just stood all day on the beach, under umbrellas, being all romantic and stuff. Such lack of scandalous behavior depresses the hell out of me, as I'm currently addicted to controversies. Neah, just kidding. I enjoy seeing other people happy.

Other testimonies include reports that the happy, recently married couple also had lots of fun playing Ping-Pong and Yahtzee in the shade, away from the afternoon's heat. Come on...no one is THAT quiet during a honeymoon. I bet they paid off every other guest on the resort to keep their mouths shut about the vacation, to keep a low profile and a good image for the press. Otherwise, this marriage will be as "interesting" and "funny" as a British movie.

After an entire week of such energy consuming activities, the couple decided to get back to work, as Eva has to work on a new season of ABC's favorite hit series, "Desperate Housewives". Let's just hope, for their sake, that her role in the series does not influence her marriage decisions, or else there are not going to be anymore quiet vacations in tropical paradises, but loud scandals in celebrity hell. Ah, I can hardly wait.