Cover-Up Time: Eva Longoria Tries to Sidetrack the Sex Tape Hunt

Eva Longoria is a real piece of work. No, really, she thinks she's so smart...someone needs to find that sex tape of hers and post it online just to make her shut up and hide for a few days - and the world will definitely be a better place without her 'look at me, I'm so smart" attitude. Plus, in case someone will take mercy on us and end our misery by actually releasing the wretched tape, we'll get the double bonus of having enough time to enjoy the sex goodies in peace while looking forward to seeing just how well Eva will act the "It's not me, I'm actually a virgin" routine. Classy.

In fact, what Eva did looks suspiciously like a cover up - or a decoy story aimed to make the whole sex tape thing look like a joke. I bet she thinks she'll make people lose interest and stop spending sleepless nights surfing porn sites looking for the infamous tape. It's all reverse psychology in the end - the more she tries to convince us the rumors are not real, the more suspicious it looks. I would have thought she had learned that lesson, like, 5 minutes after she became a (cough) TV star (cough).

So little Eva and some weird guy dubbed in the tape as "Perry Hilton" (who is in fact the rather more flamboyant funny man actor Eric Christian Olson) got together and released this mock-sex tape in which we can see them in a hotel room, in night vision mode and all, but what these two are doing (as you can see for yourself below) is just fooling around, mocking the whole sex tape ethos. How funny. But I'm afraid despite trying to be funny, she looks rather more desperate (no pun intended) than relaxed, which again raises some question marks.

But I'm starting to get just a little frustrated here, and I'm really looking forward to the time of day when I'll be able to relax at home with a glass of wine and the true version of Miss Eva fooling around. There is another explanation to this oh-so-witty sex tape spoof. Either Eva or her basketball player of a husband are so bad in bed, that she's trying to prepare us all for the true disaster to come. Something like "look, I'm so bad that rather than screwing around with me anyone would rather be pounded on the head with a pillow for a whole night. Man, that's gotta be bad...

EVA LONGORIA SEX TAPE