14 DAY TRIAL // The Onion reports that Apple has unveiled a new iPhone model that comes with a pre-cracked screen. Geared towards college girls, the iPhone 5C is “the phone you love, broken.”
The new unveiling reportedly took place at a “surprise press event” this morning with CEO Tim Cook presiding over the media gathering as usual.
Apparently, college girls drop their iPhones a lot, so Apple reportedly decided to make it easier for them and ship the next iPhone, dubbed 5C, pre-shattered.
The “C” supposedly stands for “cracked,” much in the same way the S in iPhone 3GS referred to the speedier processor.
According to the same “live” report, Apple will soon debut an iPhone version geared towards dads. The new iPhone will be pre-programmed to call the offspring whenever dear ol’ dad is having trouble with the handset, The Onion reports.
Editor's note: The Onion is a satire publication whose coverage is for entertainment purposes only.