Coco Amazes Us with Her Luscious Booty

Man, I've sure missed CoCo. But lucky me, the wait is finally over. Here is Coco and that ultra-classy husband of hers at Roberto Cavalli's Halloween party at Cipriani last night. And really, I'm at a loss for words. The first thing I'm going to do, though, is issue a sincere apology to Shauna Sand and her own classy Halloween outfits, which put next to Coco look pretty much like Cate Blanchett put next to Britney Spears. Really, Shauna, I take back every single bad thing I said about your outfit. Her hooker look was nothing, NOTHING compared to Coco's a*s-revealing naughty maid.

I must say, Coco sure knows how to work her goodies. She's a natural at posing and she really has a wonderful sixth sense which allows her to show off the beauty in her without looking like she's trying too much. I kid. I have no idea who (or rather what) she wanted to impersonate, but someone at some point made a huge mistake. I'm not sure if it's the (monstrous) badly-exposed a*s, the cheap "do me doggy style" pose or the overall tramp attitude, but something is definitely wrong with Coco's brain.

The fact is, I was expecting something along these lines from the queen of sexy (I'm still talking about Coco, just so that there's no confusion), but really, as usual, fact beats fiction. In this case, Coco left me feeling like fact beat me over the head with a broomstick and left me beaten and bruised in an alleyway. But really, I think it could all have been a lot worse. Imagine if she had decided to show up dressed as Snow White. Or a slutty Cinderella. No, I really couldn't have handled anything like that.

So, once again, on behalf of all the people who were left visually impaired after seeing those photos, I'd like to thank Coco for that amazing bit of luscious sexiness and ask her to please, keep rocking that attitude and those clothes. It's the best way to achieve fame, and she'll definitely be burned into our retinas for a long time. Forever, I'd say...