Christina's Boobs Are Pretty Annoyed

Everyone, get out of Christina's way. I mean, fast, before she unleashes her massive chi-chis on you and suffocates you to death, OK, I was kidding and I was being pretty mean there – but at least part of it is true. It's not a good time to be around Christina, with all the baby drama and the post-pregnancy rage going on at the moment, and no, I'm not kidding this time. Apparently, Christina has an extremely volatile temper now that her baby has arrived, and it's quite easy to get her mightily annoyed. Which I guess could be put down to hormones – either that or we're finally seeing her true colors shining. And no, it's not pretty. In which case, as I was saying, you'd better run for the hills and stay as far away as possible from her exploding rage, or suffer the consequences.

Mix in Christina's huge ego, the fact that she believes herself to be one of the world's sexiest fresh mommies and the whole "get as much money as possible for your baby photos" rage that's been sweeping Hollywood over the past years, and you have yourself a ready-made American tragedy. Because in Xtina's case, it looks like someone didn't play their cards right – and it's either Christina herself or her management team. The fact is, nowadays it's not "how much is she getting paid to play that part?" or 'how many albums did she sell?". The question that makes you or breaks you is "how much money did you cash in for your baby pictures?". And while to me at least it sounds slightly insane, not to mention ridiculous, "postpartum panic" is a very real phenomenon – with very real consequences.

The so-called "trouble" for Christina began when the photos of her son Max sold for $1.5 million, which she reportedly feels is way too little. You'd think that pocketing a million and a half would make a girl happy, but no – apparently, Christina was so angry at the thought that other celebrities out there sold out their babies for more, that she threw a huge tantrum and fired her day-to-day manager, one of her assistants and her publicity firm BWR. But word on the street (OK, word in the exclusive celebrity circles) is that there was another reason for Christina's rage – which was pure envy. Apparently, the photos of her baby didn't boost the sales for People magazine as much as she expected, and that annoyed her probably as much as the thought that photos of Anna Nicole Smith's baby daughter Dannielynn sold for $1.7 million. And it didn't help that BWR also represents Jennifer Lopez and managed to secure her a whopping $6 million payout for her own baby photos. I'm telling you, it's a jungle out there.


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