Britney Threatens to Reveal Paris' Lesbian Turn

What is better than Britney Spears taking off her underwear in the middle of an adult-rated shop? No, it's most definitely NOT a trick question, but I should have said "what is worse than Brit Brit taking off her undies" - so my apologies. Well, there IS something better - or worse, depends on how you choose to regard it. And it's not just a juicy piece of Britney gossip, but also the equivalent of a two for one deal - you know, kinda like the shampoo and the conditioner. Not one, but two dumb blonds allegedly getting into cat fight mode can only be good news for those of us with a sense of humor, a bit of masochism and a lot of patience.

Brit Brit, it seems, has fallen out with Paris while they were celebrating the popwreck's birthday on Sunday. That's not too hard to believe, given how both of these two skanks probably have egos the size of China and not enough brains between them to fill an egg-cup, so I sense plenty of reasons for scandal. So, back to the scandal: having got into an argument with the world's favorite heiress, Britney reportedly decided to take justice into her own two hands and deal with naughty Paris on her own. In an even more scandalous turn (and unbelievable, but that's not the point here), Brit allegedly has a video (shot during her birthday celebrations) of Paris enjoying a lesbian kiss with - obviously - another lady.

The next part is even funnier: Brit Brit apparently sent Paris a letter threatening to expose the little video - that is, leak it onto the Internet. "Britney and her pals wrote to Paris and told her they are hearing rumors of a new sex-tape scandal. The letter also claims the tape shows footage of Paris locking lips with one of Britney's female friends at a party. It warns Paris that if she continues being rude to people, the footage will be leaked online".

As I see it, there are two main issues here: the first is that I'm not sure Britney can write, and secondly, if she were to release the alleged "tape" the moment Paris starts being rude again, that should have already happened. "It's obvious Britney and her bratty pals are being silly. Paris laughed when she got the letter, supposedly from Britney and said it was 'c**p.' ", says a source close to Paris. Well, I can sense a true war of the divas coming. Joking. More like a war of the narcissistic, brainless wannabes. We will, of course, bring you all the sordid details.