Britney Spears Is Really Stupid

Damn, this is the third Britney article today. But I can't help it - she's always in the news, and she always manages to get me thinking about depressing stuff better than a rainy day and a couple of gin and tonics. But really, every time I look at her I start feeling that the human race deserves to become extinct just because it once produced such a wonderful specimen as Britney.

And really, I am finally beginning to understand why that ridiculously made-up Britaloony that goes by the name of Chris Crocker loves her so much. Apparently, they're of the same race. They share brain structures and they think along the same patterns: once they sniffed out a good way to get media attention, they wouldn't let it go if it killed them. For Crocker, it's Internet video sharing communities. For Brit, it's alcohol.

And I'm very tired of asking myself "how stupid can you get". Apparently, very stupid. Remember how last week a judge acknowledged Britney as a frequent alcohol and drug user and warned her to stay clean or lose custody of her boys? Well, the same night, the trainwreck was out drinking and hitting the clubs. This is what I am talking about. Defiance and a very badly-judged "I don't care, just keep it coming" attitude. That's our Brit.

After reportedly asking a paparazzo to get her tampons while using one of her favorite public restaurant bathrooms, Britney does it again. And this time, there's no room for questions and speculations. Brit Brit was seen leaving a recording studio in Burbank last evening, and as she got into the passenger seat of her Mercedes (at least she wasn't driving, which is a relief) her faithful but equally deluded cousin Alli handed her a margarita. As in an alcoholic drink. Heavy sigh.

Yes, that's a double...no, scratch that, a triple stupid thing to do. First of all, you don't hand a drug user more drugs, unless you're a drug dealer. Feeding alcohol to an alcoholic is not the way to go, Alli dear, in case no one ever told you this before. And yes, I'm sure it was a Margarita - you can see the salt all around the rim of the glass. Secondly, she did that in front of about 50 paparazzi. She could just as well have worn a T-shirt reading "bust me, test me, I'm drinking and I don't care". And thirdly, in the state of California it's illegal for a passenger to carry an open alcoholic drink while the car is moving.

And while it's funny to imagine we'll finally get to see Britney's mug shot, it's not funny to imagine what's going on in the former pop princess' house. I mean, it's logical - if she can't help drinking in front of the cameras, a small thing like having her kids with her will definitely not stop her. What else can I say. Words fail me. I only hope that at the next custody hearing someone will accidentally press a button which will make Britney teleport onto one of Jupiter's moons - and stay there.