Britney Spears Will Soon Be Broke

Man, I knew the people behind the Cheetos and Red Bull were greedy bastards, but this is already too much. I mean, just look at what they did to Britney Spears. The poor girl, whose biggest sin (cough) is that she's completely addicted to those previously mentioned brands, and it looks like they might as well have contributed to her going bankrupt. I mean, it can only be Red Bulls and Cheetos - she hardly eats anything else - and recently, it seems that growing concerns have emerged recently regarding just how much money Brit Brit does have.

I mean, there I was thinking that Brit was the richest addict in the world. If you remember, during her legal battle with K-Fed, we saw some documents in which the train wreck's income was estimated to be around $800.000 a month. And the first thing that came to my mind was, man, she sure has enough money for drugs. But now, as we've all noticed in fact, Brit has been spending ridiculous sums of money on silly things such as hotels that are just a couple of miles away from her home in Malibu and...well, you guessed it, huge amounts of Cheetos, Red Bull, booze and Mexican food.

The funny thing is that Brit's friends are extremely concerned that she will soon not have enough money to pay for all the counseling sessions the judge has ordered her to take. "People are very worried about Britney because she is running out of money. Her fragrance didn't do well. She has no cash flow coming in and she's spending money like water", says a source. Well, of course her fragrance didn't do well. I mean, even the advertisements that feature a much slimmer, sexier, healthier Brit Brit are offensive in that they don't reflect the reality one bit. I wonder who actually believed people would rush to buy it - and who was foolish enough to imagine Brit's image and reputation can actually still sell something - anything.

But back to the "Brit out of money" issue. You know, there is a much simpler explanation to it, if it's true - and it probably is. Drugs are expensive, people. Really, really expensive. And as much as I really want Brit to stay clean, sober up and clean up her act, I must say I do hope she also doesn't run out of money. Can you imagine a poor, broke Brit Brit walking down the streets begging for change? And just think of the clothes she'd wear - no, this must never happen, it would bring about a national health crisis. I promise, if ever the word is out Brit needs extra cash, we'll hold a bake sale. And if they promise to use our money to pay for the psychiatric evaluation, we'll pay for it ourselves. That is a promise.