Britney Spears Is Not Pregnant. She's Just Fat.

Yesterday, the rumor that Britney Spears was pregnant (again!) spread like fire all over the media! With all those pregnancy scares, mostly due to tabloid stories (see Nicole Kidman, Hale Berry and Katie Holmes), Britney's case did make some sense after all.

The stories began to circulate after reports that on several nights out Britney Spears ended up puking uncontrollably. At first, they said it happened because she drank too much. Then, a couple of nights again, she and her new boytoy Isaac Cohen were spotted by the paparazzi on the highway, in his car, while he was desperately trying to wipe his fingers of something that closely resembled either barf or peanut butter.

Britney was in the passenger seat and, by the time the paps got with their cameras by the car, Isaac had already taken his shirt off and was trying to clean his hands, the seat and Britney's legs of the brownish substance. Naturally, everyone assumed that Brit was drunk, they pulled over but she didn't have enough time to take her head out of the window and, instead, puked all over her man.

The change came yesterday, when 'Us Weekly' and Jeanette Walls from MSNBC 'The Scoop' both claimed they had inside sources that could testify Spears was pregnant with her third child, four months after giving birth to Jayden James (whom we still haven't seen, by the way). 'Her dancers were indulging in Malibu rum and pineapple drinks and taking shots of vodka. But Britney drank bottled water', one source told 'Us' about the singer's behavior while in Las Vegas last weekend.

'I've seen her during the last two pregnancies and she has the same look now. She's heavier, but that's not it. It's the sparkle in her eye. She always gets that sparkle when she's pregnant, like she's relaxed and happy', another spy told 'The Scoop', thus explaining Britney's continuous weight gain, junk food runs and sickness stories.

Larry Rudolph, Brit Brit's long-time manager spoke to TMZ and addressed his client's alleged pregnancy by cataloging it 'absurd' and 'laughable'. 'Because Isaac didn't lick the peanut butter off his fingers, someone decided that it must not be peanut butter, but must instead be Britney's vomit. Ridiculous!', Rudolph concluded.

This is probably the first time people are happy that Britney Spears is just simply fat and not pregnant.