Britney Shows Up in Vegas Dressed Like a Mess

Remember how we all thought Brit Brit won't show up at the launch party of the LAX club in Las Vegas over the weekend? Well, apparently she did finally show up and she's managed to make a fool of herself again. And while this time she didn't spill any food on her clothes, didn't have sex in the pool with a stranger (or maybe she did but we haven't found out about it yet) and didn't get drunk with all the press watching, she did manage to dress like...well, not to get offensive, but really...just take a look at the dress she's wearing.

To finish the sentence, she dressed up like someone who stumbled on a piece of cloth on the street and decided to wrap it around her boobs, just for fun. And what's with the straw hat? Come on, Britney, that's a man's hat – did daddy K-Fed leave that behind when he left and you just thought it might come in handy? Looks that way – and finally, our beloved Brit is chewing gum, wearing her sunglasses inside and just has that general air of "I'm lost and dumb" that we've all grown to like about her.

And just how did Brit make the night and earned her $100.000? Well, she apparently "breezed" through the red carpet, didn't wait to allow photographers to take her picture and reportedly had to be brought back by representatives of her sponsors and forced to stop and pose for pictures.

And...guess what...she spent the whole night around Criss Angel as well as drinking quietly with three of her friends. Precisely what she finds sexy about that guy (who looks like he just escaped a prison camp and hasn't taken a shower in at least a year) we don't know – and we dare anyone who knows to tell us, too. But truth be told, Britney did look a little more like the Britney we used to know. And for once, there was no insane partying and no sex in public.

Pardon me for saying that again, but it's something new – an abstinent Britney is almost as strange as a well-dressed Britney, which, you see, is the reason for which we can't have them both. The only true problem were the clothes – and the fact that she always manages to look like she's just been parachuted from an alien spaceship in the middle of a strange, strange world. What can I say – get used to it, darling, and lose the cloth – you'd do us all a favor, including yourself.

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