Britney and Her Stained Nipples Bail On Her Kids

I have no idea what has been going on in the mind of the world's biggest celebrity trainwreck of all times, but on the other hand, I'm not sure I even want to understand any of the things going on in Britney's head. So better let the facts speak for themselves and then, if we still have a sense of reality and don't feel our heads are about to explode with the insanity of the situation, we may do a little bit of speculating. And the fact is that Britney apparently requested an emergency hearing, in which her side was rumored to ask that some visiting privileges for the popwreck be restored, under a series of special circumstances. The hearing did indeed take place, only trouble was that - in typically crazy Britney fashion - the troubled singer showed up in court but then bolted before the hearing even began.

Predictably, the result was that the current ruling (according to which Britney has no visitation rights at all) still stands and K-Fed gets to keep sole legal and physical custody of the couple's two boys. Which begs the question, if Britney was the one to demand the hearing, why didn't she bother to show up? Instead, she chose to go shopping and then out to lunch with her paprazzi boyfriend, acting like nothing had happened and she hadn't just wasted everybody's time for nothing. Well, the "why didn't she show up" part is a question for the ages - we all know there are a million possible answers to that. She didn't show up because she was scared, because she was anxious, because she couldn't be bothered, because she was in a bad mood, because she doesn't care about her kids - no one knows and no one will ever know. The cold hard fact is that Britney still can't see her kids - and this doesn't seem to bother her in the least.

And please, don't even get me started on Britney's appearance. She showed up in court wearing a stained blouse that made her look as if she was lactating, and sporting the same disheveled hair as always. It's with a heavy heart that I can tell you - and please don't go reproaching me that I'm stating the obvious - that nothing changed on the Britney front and that the popwreck is still as crazy as she was the day she was carried out of her house tied to a gurney and taken to a psych ward for a psychiatrical evaluation. And no, this time I won't be wondering what will happen next, but let you know I dread any and all Britney news that are bound to come soon. Stay tuned.