Britney's TO DO List The Day She Lost Her Kids

Let's play a little game. No, I'm not playing Jigsaw and this is not a bad remake of the "Saw" movies, although it is grotesque, absurd and it does have a horror side to it. But just for a second, let's all pretend to be Brit Brit, who - as I'm sure you have heard and if not you can get up to speed by READING THIS - just lost full physical custody of her two sons in favor of ex hubby K-Fed.

So, are we on? Just imagine, for a second, that you're Britney - just let the triple feel of Red Bull, Cheetos and pure madness course through your veins...let it become your life force, your driving energy. And think. What will you do the day you find out you've lost your kids and you have no idea when and if you will ever have them back?

Well, most normal people would probably be hiding at the bottom of the bed crying with a box of Kleenex - either that or hitting their heads against the wall and asking themselves "what did I do wrong". But not Britney. No, Monday was a busy busy day for her - and a small thing like packing her kids' bags and handing them over to her ex husband is definitely not going to stand in her way.

I mean, she's got errands to run, she has to make sure the clothes she plans to wear are all nicely messed up and stained - not to mention so many other pressing issues on her agenda. So, game over - time's up - and before we reveal our imaginary "what if I were her" thoughts, let's have a look at what happened for real.

The Britney TO DO - Monday, October 1st

1. Make sure the kids' bags are packed. After all, they're going away for a nice little holiday with daddy.
2. Get dressed
3. Make sure the paparazzi know exactly what you plan to do today
4. Prepare your best "it's Britney, bitch" pose for the paps and make sure your gas tank is almost empty
5. Get some burgers at Carl's Jr.
6. Drop off the kids to K-Fed's bodyguard - say goodbye to the little tykes, but don't overdo it - it's not like you're not going to see them soon anyway.
7. Visit your favorite Bel Air tanning salon, Epitome, and work on that tan - on getting out of the car, almost flash your vagina again.
8. Go to the DMV and apply for a California driver's license
9. Check into the Peninsula Hotel
10. Have dinner at Nobu in Malibu

How does she manage to do all this? I mean, you have to admit the whole "hand the kids over" is a bit overrated compared to the rest of the exhausting activities Brit did on the day she potentially lost her kids for good. So, how does that sound? Did you reach the part where you, like me, think she arranged for the whole thing and basically begged the judge to take the kids away? For the moment, there's not much that can be said - except feel just a bit overwhelmed, and happy that the whole "pretend to be Britney" thing was, after all, only a very short, very bad dream.