Britney's Got a New Man.. a New Driver...and Some Liposuction, Too

All is well in Britney land these days...or I should probably say that no one has been injured, run over, shot, and there has been no drug overdose of any kind. Yes, that's better - that's Brit Brit's life in rather more relatable terms. But the fact is there has definitely been some action going on in Brit's life, only I can't really make up my mind if it all goes at the top of the "OK, that's better" or the "She screwed up again" column. Well, have a look and help me decide.

Life&Style proudly reports that there seems to be a new man in Britney's life. No, please, don't give me that look - I know I told you this was good news, but at least let me finish before you give me the are-you-crazy-or-what look. The fact is, this new guy fits into Britney's "man recruitment scheme" just nicely. First of all, professionally - he's a waiter. Well, K-Fed was a dancer, so she's not going too far from her former dating patterns, which probably makes the experience a little more comfortable for Brit. What's even funnier is that this new man in Brit's life (his name, in case you care, is Michael Marchand) works at Mirabelle restaurant, met Britney there and took her on a date...you guessed it, at the same restaurant.

"Michael came in a little after midnight, and she came in right after. They were being discreet" says an eye witness. "Forty-five minutes later, they left the restaurant together. He was charming - he made Britney laugh and looked at her with this secret smile. They left in separate cars". Britney, I guess, is feeling very confident about herself lately - so confident that she even started doing some of the things she should have done months ago, but ignored them. First of all, she washed her hair. Biiig progress! Then, she hired a driver. Then, she showed off her new, slimmer, liposuction-shaped legs by donning a miniskirt. Finally, I'm very pleased to report she wore underwear. Man, she must really like this guy.

Life & Style also reports that Brit instantly fell for Michael when she was at Mirabelle earlier this month. "Their chemistry was immediate. He's very turned on by her", says an insider. Turned on? The poor guy must have been looking at photos of Brit from about a decade ago. Since the time they first feel for one another, the two lovebirds reportedly had at least one date at Brit's mansion. "They're always texting each other", says the insider. Yes, Brit is probably sending texts while running a red light and he texts back in between washing dishes. I'm telling you - stay tuned, 'cause I'm sensing some pretty sensational news on this match made in heaven.