Britney's Father Has Put an End to Vagina Flashes

Britney Spears' life has long turned into a perpetual source of wonder for pretty much everyone out there interested in her antics. And as we've all learned, it's very difficult to escape the Spears drama (unless you're considering relocating to the Sahara desert) – so it's better to embrace it and indulge in a little daily Britney update – a guilty pleasure, if you like. Today's news is that Britney's dad Jamie Spears really should have a street named after him – actually, more like a full boulevard, since he managed to bring his daughter's formerly chaotic life to a point of balance. In fact, so seriously has he taken his role as a conservator, that he even took to performing a rather unpleasant but very necessary task: check that Britney is wearing panties before she leaves the house.

"Jamie makes sure to ask Britney if she has underwear on before she goes out", a source reports. Her personal assistant is also in charge of making sure Brit Brit has knickers and a bra on before stepping out in public. "Britney tries to ignore their requests, but her dad is adamant and insists she change if she’s falling out of her top", the source adds. As much as that sounds like a trespass at the most basic level of personal intimacy, it's also true that the world has had way too many run-ins with Britney's vagina. Whatever rescues our retinas from being assaulted by the popwreck's lack of common sense (indeed, lack of dignity too) is acceptable.

Spears has a well-documented history of being photographed in public – usually getting in and out of cars – with no underwear on, which has made her the subject of public ridicule on countless occasions. She was often accused of flashing her vagina on purpose, as an act of defiance towards her critics or simply because she enjoyed being at the center of scandal and controversy. Her life has taken a turn for the best ever since her father Jamie was appointed conservator to her estate and was granted control over the people she sees, the money she spends and the way she lives her life, generally. By court decision, Jamie's conservatorship has been extended until July.


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