Britney's Coochie Makes a Comeback

Oh, joy! All day today I had this weird feeling that something was missing from my life, and now I know what that was: it was Britney's vagina, y'all. Kidding. Or to be honest, more like puking. I confess, I'm lost. Please, someone, explain this to me. Britney Spears. We all know who we're talking about, right? Well, Britney stepped out for a spot of dinner at SHU sushi restaurant in Los Angeles in the company of her new bodyguards and assistant, and she looked good. I mean, really good. She was wearing a nice long dress (longer I mean than the butt-skimming atrocities in which we've seen her in the past months), a jacket and decent shoes. Her hair looked clean, and there was no paparazzi boyfriend or evil manager in sight. All seemed well – but behind our backs, disaster was brewing. And in the spirit of Britney's most treasured life principle, why enjoy a good moment when you can spoil it?

So, boys and girls, Britney's vagina got out to play once more. Yes, you heard me right. The presently tame popwreck managed to flash her private parts YET AGAIN, to the utter horror and disgust of all those who had a chance to look at the photos in question. Why? No idea. But the question that's mostly on my mind now is, how? I mean, her dress reaches down to her knees, lord! Plus, it was very cold outside. How can she manage to go the underwear-free route? Maybe she's doing it on purpose. Based on the silly smile on her face, I bet she might be seeing this as a form of rebellion – something along the lines of "you got me under lock and key but look what I can still do". I really wouldn't be surprised if that were true.

The story is, Britney's dad is making full use of his conservatorship and is really putting his foot down on what his daughter is and is not allowed to do. Apparently, she's got bodyguards accompanying her to the bathroom, too. Which is probably a good thing and a reaction to all the rumors according to which Britney was unhappy with her father's level of authority over her and was trying to make a run for it. But with no car, no money, a horde of paparazzi trailing you and a couple of bodyguards at your side non stop, it's kind of hard to make anything more than... ahem, symbolic statements. So, one year to the day since we saw Britney publicly shave her head, we got a glimpse of her other head. I just love symetry in life. Don't you?


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