Brit Brit Is the Ultimate Sex Bomb

I think something is seriously wrong with the people at Hello magazine – but I can't quite put my finger on it. I think I'll just present you with the facts and then just... let you be the judges. But I must warn you, you're in for some shocking news – so better sit down, grab a cup of coffee and some Vicodins... I mean, vitamins and relax. Here are the amazing facts. Hello magazine has an annual "Most Attractive and Most Elegant" series of polls, which they boast as an "annual event that draws interest from around the globe and has readers clicking in their thousands". And while I believe them when they say that, I still think that something must be terribly wrong with their electronic equipment, something that would generate fake poll results and screw with the real number of votes cast to some of the nominees in each poll. Otherwise, I can't possibly imagine some of the absolutely anomalous results – have a look for yourslves and gasp in horror. And then we'll talk some more.

Most Attractive Woman
1. Brit Brit
2. Delta Goodrem
3. Sporty Spice & Athina Onassis
4. Angelina Jolie

Most Attractive Man
1. Sean Bean
2. Hugh Laurie
3. David Tennant
4. Nick Carter & Brad Pitt

Most Elegant Woman
1. Madonna
2. Christina Aguilera
3. Sarah Michelle Gellar
4. Princess Mary of Denmark

That's right. Apparently, the people who read Hello magazine believe that Britney Spears and Mel C of the Spice Girls are more attractive than Angelina Jolie. Now either that means that Angie is losing her touch, or that the world has gone crazy. Completely crazy. I won't comment on Sporty Spice being one position ahead of Angie, because I think that's indeed a matter of personal taste. But for Brit Brit to top the chart, that's not an anomaly, it's a downright disaster. We're talking about Britney Spears, people! I'm sorry to have to say this, but these days the average piece of junk is more attractive than Brit Brit, with her greasy weaves, stained clothes, exposed underwear and tampons and her overall trainwreck messy air.

In my humble opinion, you can call Britney in many ways, but attractive is definitely not on my top 50 list of words I'd use to describe her. Nevertheless, here is what the magazine has to say about her. "The 26-year-old singer, who clearly impressed fans with the trim new figure she unveiled last year, beat off competition from fellow songbird Delta Goodrem, who came a close second with 26 per cent". I love it how they make it sound that Britney is just the nicest girl out there, and that it's totally natural that she own the, ahem, award. And if you thought that was strange, how about ex-Backstreet Boys teen star turned annoying has-been Nick Carter being just as attractive as Angie's partner Brad Pitt. Someone, help me snap out of this nightmare. Well, let me know how you feel – and maybe we can talk some more about this as soon as I've managed to pick myself up from the floor. See you soon!


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