You would think that Jenna Jameson had learned by now one or two things about plastic surgery. Or, at least, about plastic surgeons, namely that if you go to one of those doctors who do celebrities like Tara Reid or Amanda Lepore or Sylvester Stallone, you know from the very start what to expect. But, no, she probably went to the same 'expert' who did her face (and we all know how that turned out, don't we?) and she had her most prized asset re-shaped and 'improved' - her money-making vagina.

I know, this is not a time for jokes for, after all, we are talking here about Jenna's pussy. Can you imagine a world where there are no porn movies with the Queen of Porn of all times? You might as well get used to the idea because, if this rumor is true, that's what lies ahead of us. Try not to go all suicidal on me because of it and let's focus on the story. We'll try to see if the rumor is true only afterwards.

Jenna Jameson is not all about porn, although that is definitely what the world most cares about. The starlet is also the author of the best-selling biography 'How To Make Love Like a Porn Star', in which she details her troubled life and rise to fame. Because of said book, Jenna stood great chances of leaving porn industry and really, really go mainstream, by starring in the big screen adaptation of her book (to present this story truthfully, you should also know that, at one point, rumor had it that Scarlett Johansson was set to play Jenna in the movie). But all that is ruined now since she got a vaginoplasty that went totally wrong.

An unnamed (but totally reliable, by the way) source told the media: 'She underwent a vaginoplasty at a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon and she is very unhappy'. We'll take a moment to specify that said procedure implies a tightening or toning of the loosened muscles of the vagina (no need to wonder why Jenna needed it, I presume). Back to the source: apparently, something went wrong with the pussy tightening surgery and Jenna is very upset about it. In fact, she is so down that she, quote, 'has decided to hole up and not speak to anybody.' Try for a sec to ignore the whole 'holing up' irony there!

But that's not all that's troubling our most favorite woman ever: because her self-isolation, she has begun to miss meetings with the producers of the movie and, naturally, they are not happy. 'The producers are about to pull the plug on the movie', says our ever-reliable source. In other words, she is about to miss her big window of opportunity of going mainstream.

Although I said that this is not the time for jokes, I can't stop thinking about one, which involves a witch doctor, a prostitute and him curing her 'wound'. Do you think the stupid plastic surgeon Jenna went to had her vagina all sewn up? I mean, what else could be so bad as to make her not want to leave home? Anyway, let's just pray that this is not true. Jenna, if you're reading this, please get better: we think both you and your vagina were just perfect as you were... Peace out.