Breaking Dawn Part 1 – Movie Review

It's finally here: the one before the last installment of “The Twilight Saga,” laboriously titled “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1” is out. For being the most anticipated release of the season or even year, it sure disappoints in many regards.

Directed by Oscar-winning director Bill Condon (“Dreamgirls,” “Gods and Monsters”), “Breaking Dawn Part 1” presents the events unfolding in the first half of the book by the same name by Stephenie Meyer.

The story picks up shortly after “Eclipse,” with vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson, still excruciatingly handsome and still looking in pain all the time) waiting to wed his constantly sullen mortal girlfriend Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart).

The first half of the movie is dedicated to the wedding preparations, as fans who have already devoured (they wouldn't be fans if they hadn't) the original novels can easily imagine.

As humans, vampires and wolves assemble for the big event, it suddenly dawns on the unsuspecting viewer (not a Twi-hard, obviously) that the world Meyer created and scribe Melissa Rosenberg helped put in moving images is completely illogical, absurd.

Then again, at this point, the same viewer has also accepted that there's nothing to be gained in finding justification or explanation for anything that happens onscreen, so he just goes along with everything.

Which is just as good. After the wedding and a warning from furry best friend Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) that having relations with a vampire while still human could cost her her life – and not in the sense that she could die of pleasure – Bella leaves with Edward for the honeymoon.

There's no use talking about her wedding gown, which was one of the biggest secrets of the movie, since producers didn't want the fans to know more than that she'd be wearing Carolina Herrera. Not to spoil the surprise, we might as well just say this: it's gorgeous.

The newlyweds arrive on a remote island off the coast of Brazil, where, unlike any other groom that ever was on the face of the earth, Edward goes out of his way to reason with Bella as to why they should not consummate their love.

Viewers shortly find out why when, after a night of passion, Bella wakes up with blue and black bruises all over her body, the room is trashed beyond repair, and Edward is in what looks like hell for hurting her. Luckily, she seems to have enjoyed it because she keeps asking for more.

As for the fans, who have been waiting for years to see Bella and Edward finally do it, they're bound to feel let down once more: in its determination to stick to a PG-13 rating, Summit made sure most of the lovemaking happens off screen.

Only 14 days into their marriage, Bella learns she's pregnant, an event without precedence, as Edward believes. A later Yahoo! search will tell him that it can – and does – happen ever so often and, most importantly, that it comes with the most disastrous consequences: death for the mortal carrier of this half-human half-vampire demon-like fetus / child.

It's only now that the pace of the film finally picks up a bit – and not a minute too soon, since we're already well into the second half of the flick.

Whereas Condon seems a bit uncomfortable with showing the intimate, extremely intense and wordless connection between Bella and Edward (which makes perfect sense in the book but in the film is translated into long, painfully awkward stares), he's more at ease with presenting pain.

For the second half of the film, Bella is seen transforming from a beautiful (albeit constantly morose) teen into a mere shadow of herself, as the baby that only she wants is eating at her from the inside, using her body to feed.

Props to the GCI team and the makeup stylists that made her look frighteningly thin and drawn. One particular scene, in which Bella undresses to take a bath and her skeletal frame is revealed, is chilling to the bone. Having Edward look on and nearly gasp in horror adds to that effect.

As noted above, no one but Bella and unlikely BFF Rosalie (Nikki Reed) want the child to be born. While Edward is thinking of a way of saving both his wife and his child, the Wolf Pack sets out to battle with the covenant of “vegetarian” vampires the Cullens for what they created.

More drama ensues and, minutes later, the film ends in a very soap opera-like manner, with a very loud promise of greater things to come: meaning, stay tuned for “Breaking Dawn Part 2,” out on November 16, 2012.

Like any other huge franchise, especially one as successful as “Twilight,” the vampire saga has completely shut itself to the outside world. “Breaking Dawn Part 1” is a movie that no one but the fans will love, which is why it doesn't even bother to let anyone but a Twi-hard in.

Condon is a brilliant director, but there's a prevailing sense throughout the film that he was never really allowed to do things his way. However, for all the unintentionally hilarious scenes, blame the script.

As for the acting, well, it's just what you'd expect from such an inane narrative.

Critics point out that, while there's definite improvement in Kristen Stewart, whose performances so far in the franchise have been described in terms like “wooden,” “stiff” and ironically even “corpsey,” Pattinson seems totally over it. He's not even trying anymore.

Taylor Lautner is still overdoing it in his attempt at showing that he is an actor and not just a handsome guy with an enviable six-pack. Funnily enough, he's shirtless less than 5 minutes into the movie.

All flaws and pros considered, “Breaking Dawn” is more like Breaking Down for anyone who's not a fan. On the same note, defending it by saying that movies are made for fans, not for critics is ridiculous: movies are made for moviegoers – and many won't buy into this one.

“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1” runs for 117 minutes, and is rated PG-13 for disturbing images, violence, and some thematic elements. It is out in theaters in most territories on November 18, and will end its run in Japan, on February 25, 2012.

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