Blaaaaaaake Sells Out His Wife for Crack!

It really sucks to be Wino's husband right about now

By on February 18th, 2008 16:02 GMT
Amy Wino's Blaaaaake is such a drama queen. I mean, really. This guy is slowly trying to steal the spotlight from his beehived wife, and is doing quite a good job of it too. A couple of days ago, Blake Fielder-Civil (also known as "Bad Blake", also known as the manipulative druggie who is married to jazz diva Amy Winehouse) took a heroin overdose laced with an unknown chemical in prison and almost died. Heroin in prison, you'll say? Most unnatural. The fact is, not only did Blake almost die, but he also managed to fail three random drug tests in a row, and thus managed to have his visiting rights suspended for a while. Which means he's in jail, alone and all drugged-up. I can feel my heart break.

The question that a naïve non-drug user like myself asked herself was - how come Blake managed to buy himself heroin in jail? Did he have any money stashed away in areas better left unexplored and not mentioned? The answer to that is no, he didn't have any savings that we didn't know about, but being the clever entrepreneur that he is, he managed once again to exploit his unsuspecting wife, making her bring him signed photos of herself, which he then sold in exchange for drugs. What a lovely husband! And there was me thinking he just wanted to sleep with the photos under his pillow. Absolutely charming, I'm telling you.

"Blake has to pay for his gear somehow - and he has no qualms about cashing in on his wife's fame. He'll take orders from other inmates then ask Amy to bring in signed photos of herself during visits. He usually gets her to write a little personalized note to make it look authentic. Once he's back on the wing he'll swap these for "Joeys" (slang for a hit of heroin)" says a source. "The boys think they'll get a few quid for them on eBay. It's not clear whether she knows exactly what's going on... but she must find it strange that all these so-called prison hard men have suddenly become starstruck Amy Winehouse fans". Well, if you ask me, Blaaaake is turning into a bigger idiot the longer he stays in jail - so Wino better let him rot in there, give up the drugs and find herself a new man. She'd definitely be better off.

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