Pretty Little Girl Has No Idea We Can See Her Naughty Bits

Bianca Somethingsomething, still a fan of commando style!

By on August 11th, 2007 09:21 GMT
Let's play another fun game (oy vey!): let us assume, for starters, that Bianca Gascoigne is a star. If she were a star, then we would all know that she's the step daughter of famed football player Paul Gascoigne, that she rose to fame after going on national television and talking about growing up in a house in which her step dad abused her mother, but more so after posing for various glamour magazines in her home country, UK.

We would also know that she's considered a socialite, a gorgeous woman and a very talented reality show actress (I'm not joking, I swear). That she is, in short, a British and somewhat prettier version of Paris Hilton, her US correspondent in terms of being famous and loved for no apparent reason. But, since she's not quite a star to start with, we don't know all that. Only that you now do because I just told you so. See? I told you before I'm like a ninja with words.

Some of you might actually be familiar with Bianca's name, face and private parts from THIS - which was just one of the occasions when she was snapped by the paparazzi going commando and flashing the cameras. Since Lindsay is reportedly in rehab, Nicole is pregnant, Britney is gross and Paris is still playing the too-good-for-this-world part, we've kinda been running short on crotch shots lately. Consequently, and despite the fact that Bianca is still basically a no-name, her presence is more than welcome.

You know what you get when you put an attention-whore, a pretty little girl and no manners together? You get Bianca on a public outing last night! Here she is, in the company of other girls (who must be just as talented as she is, I presume), probably leaving some gathering where they handed out freebies. I don't know and, frankly, I don't care that much to research it. But, since she's so keen on pretending to give an oral job to a bottle of shampoo or some kind of hair treatment, I'll just go with that she got it for free and that's her way of thanking it (the bottle) for coming into her life so unexpectedly.

Also, it is wonderful to see that, since last time when she showed us her crotch, she learned a thing or two about waxing and grooming the nether regions. And, while the photos actually don't show that much, they do hint at a woman who finally discovered that the au naturel look can't work for everybody, not unless they live in the sixties and their name is something crazy like Wild Hope or Flower Child. Plus, she also dyed her hair a very light shade of blonde, which is always a good thing in my book.

Seeing that she doesn't have a wonky eye and that she has more curves than Paris Hitlon could ever dream of, I say I just found myself a new role model. She's trashy, hungry for attention, not ashamed to try on new things (pleasuring hair products, for one) and to ditch the old ones (like underwear). I think I speak for all of you when I say, Momma, I'm in love...

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