It’s been precisely nine months since Chris Brown, Rihanna’s boyfriend of earlier this year, lashed out at her on a side alley and brutally pounded her with his fists until she was rendered unconscious. The assault case must have been one of the most mediated of our times, but Rihanna is just now opening up about it, in the first written interview, with Glamour magazine.

Having to deal with being a victim of domestic violence while also being in the public eye and knowing for a fact that there are millions of people carefully reading up on every little detail of your life is hard, Rihanna says. The attack and its aftermath left her feeling humiliated, isolated, lonely and afraid of what might come next, she reveals just now in the most recent interview. This is also the reason why she chose to keep her silence so far, with part of the decision to break it being that she wants to shed some light on this often-overlooked topic.

“At some point you are there alone. It’s a lonely place to be. No one can understand. That’s when you get close to God.” Rihanna says of how she felt in the weeks following the assault, when she was told she had to keep a low profile if she wanted to avoid excessive media attention. “It was humiliating. That is not a photo you would show to anybody. I felt completely taken advantage of... like people were making it into a fun topic on the Internet, and it’s my life.” she adds, explaining her initial reaction to the police photo that was leaked and that showed the full extent of her injuries.

Domestic violence is a topic we’re still embarrassed to talk about, the singer explains, so it’s understandable why she would have liked it to be kept out of the press as well. However, since the cat has been out of the bag ever since the start, she’s now using her own example to show women all over the world who might be in an abusive relationship that there is a way out of the situation.

“It’s one of the things we will hide, because it’s embarrassing. My story was broadcast all over the world for people to see, and they have followed every step of my recovery. The positive thing that has come out of my situation is that people can learn from that. I want to give as much insight as I can to young women, because I feel like I represent a voice that really isn’t heard.” Rihanna says in the December issue of Glamour magazine.