Some iPod owners can be a tad more creative than necessary

Nov 1, 2013 09:58 GMT  ·  By

If you’re wondering why Apple isn’t shipping your engraved iPad on time, you might want to check the message you are trying to convey. Some ideas just won’t do.

Before you ask, yes, Apple has to offer its seal of approval to whatever you’re about to rant on the back of a new iPod or iPad. That’s because Apple is engraving it, not you.

Which means it takes full responsibility for releasing an iPod in the wild that states “10,000 Stolen Tunes Inside.” Not an ideal thing to stamp on your iTunes-centric media player, as I’m sure you’ll agree.

Same goes for messages like, “This iPod will self destruct in 1 year,” or “Steal this? Will self destruct when used.” Even less obvious jokes are taken seriously by some people, so taking precautions is mandatory.

But that’s nothing compared to engravings like “[Expletive]-ing The RIAA One Download At A Time,” or “I cost more per ounce than cocaine.”

You can view the whole list over at methodshop.com, but *please note that reader discretion is advised, as the link contains instances of language that might offend. Same goes for underage users.

Some engraving ideas are really clever, despite bumping against the line a bit, but Apple didn’t find anything wrong with those and actually approved them. I’ve handpicked a few below.

"To all the Chinese children who made my iPod, Thanks!"

"One time at band camp"

"Trapped in iPod factory. Please send help"

"Turn Me Over And Rub Your Thumb All Over Me"

"I Don't Do Windows"

"Save water, drink beer and shower together"

"People will pay more to be entertained than educated"

"My other handheld is a PocketPC"

"I last 8 hrs. You last 2 minutes. Who's the man?"