Another One Bites the Dust: Lindsay Lohan on Her Way to Jail

The troubles keep coming at Lindsay Lohan, not because she might be terribly unfortunate, but because she's got trouble written all over her. For what is worth, Li-Lo stands a very big chance to serve time, just like her good friend Paris Hilton.

Lohan messed it up really bad when - after a wild Memorial Day weekend - she got in her car and drove only as far as Sunset Blvd, where she crashed her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible into a curb (my heart weeps for that poor Mercedes). She only suffered minor injuries after the crash, but she is bound to suffer some more in the near future. You are probably aware that the cops who arrived at the scene reported that Lindsay was visibly drunk, but more importantly, they managed to find a usable amount of cocaine in her car. While waiting for the test results, the still 20-year-old Li-Lo was placed under arrest on DUI charges.

Lindsay checked right away into rehab. She seems so determined to turn her life around that she's doing overtime at the "Promises" clinic down in Malibu. But it appears that her good behavior may not come from the goodness of her heart, but because she wants to play the role of the really really good girl who hang out with the wrong crowd but who is really really sorry for what she has done and "promises" to never do it again. Why does she put up such an act? Because her test results are back!

And she is really in deep s**t now. If the preliminary rumors turn out to be true (and they probably will), Lindsay had nearly twice the legal limit of alcohol, but more severely, she presented cocaine traces in her bloodstream. The Beverly Hills Police Department will present the case to the Los Angeles D.A. When asked about the "misfortunate event", Lindsay's lawyer, Blair Berk, refused to comment on the pending case.

So Lindsay, pack your bags, because you'll be going away for a (long) while. Maybe you should ask Paris Hilton for some pointers, she's been to some county detention facilities, perhaps she can recommend one that will better suite your needs.

Oh, I almost forgot, I'm curios what medical disorder she will be complaining about. Let's see, Nicole Ritchie seems to be pregnant and it would be a shame to send a future mommy to the slammer, don't you agree? Paris Hilton suffers from panic attacks and claustrophobia. I just can't wait to see what's gonna be (medically) wrong with Lindsay Lohan.