Another Celebrity Talks Coochie

If we think of the celebrities that populate the colorful space we like to call "Hollywood" and their passion for talking nonsense, I think we'll find that there is a whole glorious history that includes famous and less famous names of people who opened their mouths specifically to address the perpetually unresolved issues of... sex organs. No, don't look at me like that – I'm not exaggerating and it's totally true. For some reason, the famous people who populate small and big screen productions simply love talking about the size, shape and quality of their love bits. I have no idea what causes their desire to share such... ahem, rather intimate knowledge with us, but I can only assume it all comes from a desire to shock and impress.

Thinking retrospectively, several such memorable instances come to mind, such as for example Victoria Beckham claiming that her husband David's penis is the size of a tractor's exhaust pipe. Now, why would we ever, ever want to know that? And now, British "Underworld" actress Kate Beckinsale is talking about her best features, and guess what - she doesn't think her eyes, legs, or even her breasts are her best features. Her best feature, according to Kate herself, is to be found... where else but between her legs. Now, there's no word on what exactly caused Kate to reach this conclusion, but I suspect some of the people who have... um, seen the matter up close have complimented her and... well, a star was born.

"My best feature is unfortunately a private matter, although I'm told it is spectacular. But you can't really walk it down the red carpet. What can I say?", she stated. The funniest part is yet to come, though. You know how they always say guys like to name their... ahem, manhoods? Well, Kate is apparently going the same way and calling her vagina "the Pharaoh's Tomb". "I was called a slut when I split up with Michael [Sheen] and began seeing Len [Wiseman], but I've only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh's Tomb!". Yes, well, I'm afraid there's not much I can add to that, really.


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