Angelina Fired!

This is just unbelievable. A blasphemy! A scandal! No, I'm kidding - I just can't believe that someone on the face of this earth actually had the nerve to fire Angelina Jolie. I mean, it's just outrageous. Angelina is such a good person, she's doing so much good in this world, and there is actually a company that has the nerve to claim that Angie's saint-like attitude and skeletal figure don't go well with what their customers are searching for. Now that's news.

Angelina has been working for the exclusive fashion label St. John St. ever since 2005. St. John collections are largely made up of conservative suit outfits and are wardrobe staples of such distinguished ladies as Hillary Clinton and Condoleeza Rice - no wonder Angie wanted to be a part of the club. But it seems that, lately, things haven't been working too well, and representatives for the label decided to ax Jolie's deal.

Bosses at St. John claim that the final decision has not been reached yet, but OK exclusively reports that the decision to replace Angie has already been taken - and is final. "Putting celebrities in campaigns is the biggest trend right now, everyone is doing it, but it didn't work for St. John with Angelina", said a source. "The people that wear St. John just didn't relate to her".

Well, I simply can't see what it is about Angie that people didn't relate to. She's such a wonderful...well, everything. Mother, actress, goodwill ambassador, you name it, she's got it. I would even tend to say she's everywhere - and that may in fact be the problem. St. John is an exclusive mark - and Angelina is pretty much universal these days. I mean, she can't put one foot out the door without being swamped by a horde of paparazzi, and even taking her kids to school is a drama every single day. I think it's what they call overexposure. But it's a good thing to discover Angie is really not wonder woman and that there are some things in life she can't have. I was beginning to feel just a little bit worried.