American Idol Pee - Stolen!

I always imagined I had seen and heard about as much of Paula Abdul as I could possibly take for about... well, enough to last me a lifetime. But now, the American Idol judge came out with an even more hilarious story than her compassionate consolations of dejected (and rejected) candidates – a story that in fact makes us realize just how loved and appreciated Paula is by her fans. Victoria Beckham (with her stories about how a loyal fan should faint when and if he meets her in the street) should step aside! Paula Abdul is the one lady in this universe who inspires her fans to actually do things that will leave other people staring in wonder.

I've heard of stars having their belongings stolen by wistful fans who intent of holding onto unusual pieces of memorabilia that had once belonged to their idols – I've heard of eBay auctions for leftover fried chips that fell off Britney Spears' plate and so on, but I never heard of anyone lifting a urine sample up to now. Paula however has been the protagonist of such a horribly unpleasant event – and is very keen to tell the world about it. And I totally understand her. I mean, I'd be proud if someone was crazy enough to want to have my own pee as souvenir.

"Well, this is gross, but I was once at the gynecologist and my doctor said, 'We asked you to do a urine sample, so where is it?' "I told him that I'd left it out in reception, and when he came back he said, 'This is really embarrassing but a man who works here is your biggest fan and he stole it.' Needless to say he got fired. In hindsight it's a funny story" Paula recounted. Yes, very funny – and I also agree about the "gross" part – but in all honesty, I have only one question left and then I'll shut up about this for ever and ever. What would anyone want to do with a urine sample? I don't care if it's Paula Abdul's or Michael Jackson's – it's still yellow and smells horrible.

I mean, I suppose you could put it in little vials and hang it around your neck – you know, like Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton used to do, carrying sealed vials of each other's blood around their necks – only in a much grosser way. Yes, well, nothing can make you fall in love with someone like a sample of hazardous biologic material. So, people and all you crazy fans out there, take note: this is true fan behavior. Kidding. It's madness and I think Paula just came up with this story in order to make herself look good. I wouldn't put it past her.


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