Alone in the Dark to Rescue Infogrames

Dear Atari,

I'd like to thank you for Alone in the Dark, it took me to new heights of fear like nothing before it.

Having played Alone in the Dark for just over 2 hours, I felt an irresistible urge to go to my local Asda Super Market. I was almost sick with fear as I stood in line at the customer services desk. Alone in the Dark is so effective at scaring people that they feel afraid even when they aren't playing. What was I scared of I hear you say ? the store might have a power cut and I'd have to use my torch but I'm out of batteries ? Was I frightened of the cracks appearing in the walls ? Was I scared that I may have to use the fire axe to protect myself when the store manager turned into a zombie ? Was it that I'd have to drop the fire axe if I climbed a ladder because no one can climb a ladder and carry a fire axe at the same time, not unless your the Fire department.

My pant wetting fear was down to one thing, I was terrified that I wasn't going to get my money back. I played your unholy evil game for over 2 hours, I want those 2 hours of my life back !! How on earth can you screw up a concept like Alone in the Dark ? I thought your last game (Alone in the Dark the New Nightmare) was bad but that was nothing compared to the pure evil that emanates from your newest effort. This one should be called Alone in the Dark the Total F'ing Nightmare.

I parted with £37.99 of my hard earned cash to play this game !! The controls feel like Edward Carnaby is playing on melting ice, while someone keeps throwing a mix of engine oil and treacle everywhere. The car scenes are like driving a lawn mower strapped to a rocket that turns once during a full moon. The NPC's have as much character and personality as a coffee table. In fact if they were real they would have an IQ lower than the afore mentioned household furnishing.

The puzzles are trial and error and do not conform to the laws of physics, I must offer my congratulations to you on your invention of the endless fire extinguisher, how you cram so much H20 in once place is astonishing !! What vitamins does Edward take ? Cause he can hold on to an electrical cable while dangling from the top of a building for ages and never get tired. Although he does let himself down a bit as he swings chairs like a girl !

Come on this is awful how do you think your going to get away with shovelling this muck down the throats of customers ? Ah your going to stop people publishing negative reviews aren't you :-

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/84594-Atari-Threatens-Legal-Action-Over-Alone-in-the-Dark-Reviews

That's an interesting way of stopping people from becoming aware of the turd that is Alone in the Dark. Oh wait, the reason you aren't happy is because the reviewers used an illegal copy of the game. Well if your game is about to ship in a few days anyway, then I'd say that the illegal copy was about as up to date as it was going to get.

Unless you put a special voodoo curse that does the impossible on every copy, that actually fools customers into thinking Alone in the Dark is worth playing, then I'd say the reviews are totally accurate with or without a legitimate copy of the game.

Now kiddies, downloading games illegally is wrong !! Don't do it !! Downloading Alone in the Dark is so wrong it's a total waste of Internet bandwidth !! Now listen carefully kiddies, buying Alone in the Dark should be an imprisonable offence as it's worse than hacking your parents to bits with a chain saw or bashing grandma over the head with a claw hammer !!

Anyway, what are you complaining about, I disagree with the reviews of 3/10, your game surely doesn't deserve such lofty scores, a lower 1/10 is more appropriate.

I have a message for the development teams of Alone in the Dark, Will you please go back to the pits of hell where you belong and take every copy of this god awful game along with you.

YOU MONSTERS !!