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November 16th, 2009, 21:31 GMT · By Florian Totu

A Teenager Was Kidnapped and Forced At Gunpoint to Buy a PS3

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First it catches criminals, now it turns people into ones
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The universe is a vast and mysterious, endless patch of knowledge. But somehow, all that the Earth got was an endless batch of incredibly confused and disturbed individuals. As far as fantasy goes, movies, books and all other forms of entertainment usually depict criminals as the greatest masterminds of human history that have simply taken a wrong turn somewhere in life. But reality is far crueler, and human criminals are nothing but a part of that above-mentioned batch of retarded-cookie does. According to a teenager in Florida, he was held at gunpoint, robbed, kidnapped and subjected to moral sacrileges, where that last part refers to being forced to buy a PlayStation 3.

According to his statement, two guys in a white pick-up cut him off as he was entering one of his friend's home in a gated community. The two assailants then stepped out of the car, one armed with an assault rifle and the other with a pistol, and demanded they be taken to the young man's residence. There, they took some jewelry from the victim's house and his stepfather's credit card. Then, they all proceeded to Walmart, where the teenager was requested by the two criminals to purchase a shotgun. Apparently, they thought he deserved a fighting chance and figured they'd let him have a Boom stick.

When they realized that, since it was past 8:30, the gun counter was closed, they decided that the closest thing that would fit their needs was a PS3. Maybe they heard about all those bricked consoles and thought it would give the boy a fighting chance. After acquiring this PS3, the two criminals were satisfied with their boon and decided that it was time to call it a day. The two let the young kidnapped victim go without any more drama. Now, considering that none of the alleged criminals' prints was found at the house that was robbed, this would all seem like a story made up by a rich kid that couldn't convince his step dad to buy him a PS3.

But there appears to be surveillance footage that would collaborate his story, and, apparently, there has even been one arrest already made. So, these Sony fanboys, armed to their teeth, decided that they needed some rich, white kid that they just robbed and kidnapped to go to Walmart and buy a shotgun for them, and a PS3 as the cherry on top. If this is the section of criminals that plays video games, then it seems like maybe, just maybe, games might have a negative influence on the intellect.

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