Celebrity scoop

A BRITNEY SPEARS SEX TAPE WILL HIT SOON

The Britney madness never stops. Goody...

By Monica Gaza, Entertainment News Editor

3rd of October 2007, 10:52 GMT

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I hope this is real...cause then there will be no stopping the madness...

Oh, no. No, no, no. Really, this can't be happening. I mean, I just can't take the tension anymore, the psychological pressure and the inner fight. There are two sides of me battling to take control, the one that thinks Britney Spears is a deluded alcoholic drugged-out moron who has no idea what to do with her life and doesn't deserve to have her kids back because she would end up ruining their lives as well - and the one that has an almost pathological craving for daily explosive Britney news.

And it looks like it's sex tape week, what with the whole Eva Longoria madness and desperate hunt for the Desperate Housewife's on-screen sex romps. And now it's almost been confirmed that there is a Britney Spears sex tape out there, which is bound to hit soon. Hit us in the stomach, I mean, because I have a feeling I will be skipping my lunch for about a week if I get to see Brit humping on top of some homeless guy (I'm joking about the homeless part) and yelling "gimme, gimme more". But you see, that's the real problem. I almost hate Britney - and I definitely love Britney gossip. It's like a split personality thing - only with a stronger scent of trainwreck added to it.

I think that Brit got us all to feel a little like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. But really - after losing her kids and being just about the most irresponsible person on this planet, princess popwreck makes a dash for a different kind of fame. Only, really, after seeing her at the VMAs I'm not sure we're looking forward to seeing the tape because we're in love with Brit's once-fit body or because we're tired of waiting for the next 'Saw' movie and we want a bit of horror action in our lives.

The sex tape in question was reportedly made by a 28-year old man who lives in Hawaii and who met Britney while she was there on vacation in June. He claims that he met Spears in a bar one night around 1 a.m. And ended up sleeping with her in a bungalow at the Four Seasons hotel on the Kona-Kohala Coast on June 7th. He says that in fact he left his camera rolling without Britney knowing and caught the whole sex match on tape.

But the really funny part is that the reason for which he hasn't come forward so far (or so it is claimed) is that he's embarrassed at his own performance in bed and thinks that the world would make fun of him if the tape was leaked to the Internet. "It was just normal sex, we didn't do anything crazy," he allegedly claims. "It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out". Yes, probably because they were both dead drunk. I bet Brit didn't even remember it the following morning. Well, what can I say - with the risk of not eating for a whole month - bring it on! Stay tuned and we'll give you all the news as the case develops.

TAGS:

britney spears | sex tape | scandal | hawaii | bungalow sex

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